Going Too Far Is Still Not Far Enough

in , ,

I love going ‘too far’.

I love when others react to that.

I love when me just being me activates and overwhelms someone.

Because I know what’s going on.

And yes, that turns me on.

While many avoid that tension, that edge, that illusory risk of offending or ‘losing’ someone by saying or doing the true thing regardless of any and every thing else,

I’m over here like BRING. IT. THE. FUCK. ON.

I go right into it.

And yes, most people collapse (well, their false self does, as it should and must).

And yes, I love that, too.

Their illusory walls can’t withstand the truth so of course they crumble until they don’t.

And the ones who actually want to be free of themselves,

who genuinely crave that level of liberation,

who are willing to see behind the veil of illusion they were holding so tightly to,

(even and especially by painting me in a tainted light to justify their own frustration at not yet fully owing themselves)

end up loving me for precisely what they previously judged me for…

Being exactly as I am.

Which ‘forced’ them to do the same.

△

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No Offence But You're Insane

in , ,

If you’re human, you’re mentally ill.

You don’t need a diagnosis to prove that.

Just look what goes on inside your mind.

If every bit of it was projected onto a screen for you and others to read 24/7,

you’d see that you’re insane.

Not truly.

But mentally.

Disordered.

Not coherent.

And…

coherence is still the baseline.

It’s the undercurrent of all things.

And the noise of the mind is just that.

Noise.

And…

the noise is not who you are.

It’s just what’s going on above the stillness.

And…

the noise itself is not a problem.

Identifying with the noise IS.

Believing the noise is who you are IS.

Being taken on that insane ride to crazytown whenever the noise takes over IS.

And of course, none of it is really a problem at all.

It’s just what IS.

For now.

And…

sanity IS an option.

By seeing that the noise is only noise.

Regardless of what it contains.

And that you are the one who listens.

The peace beneath the noise.

△

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Mandyland Feels Like This

in

EXPERIENCE THIS ON INSTAGRAM

Toribio & Mickey Perez (2023), Taken at The Multi Culti Space Garage, Montreal, Quebec

COMING NEXT

A Visual Delight (2025), Taken at Sans Soleil, Montreal, Quebec

MANDY BITES

  1. You already have what you actually want. You’re just taking the long way around.

  2. All you’re doing with all that doing is dancing around your own fire.

  3. You have access to all of it. No more and no less than anyone else.

  4. We each create exactly what we’re inevitably here to dissolve.

  5. Everything is an exercise in personal power.

  6. What you actually want and are is beyond the mind and the need to manage it or anything else.

  7. No need to show them the door. They’ll escort themselves out naturally, the closer you stay to you.

  8. Life will force the expansion you’re not willing to take on your own.

  9. Don’t honour your word. Honour yourself. The truth in THIS moment. Regardless of what you’ve said.

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The Prettiest Drink (2024), Taken at Fleurs et Cadeaux, Montreal, Quebec

Mr. Fancy Pants (2024), Taken at the SAT Party, Montreal, Quebec

MICHAEL SINGER QUOTES

  1. “Your natural state is ecstasy.” Michael Singer

  2. “You’re in complete control of yourself. Stop being a baby.” Michael Singer

  3. “If you’re struggling, you’re not there yet.” Michael Singer

  4. “You would never dislike or hate anybody unless you needed something from them.” Michael Singer

  5. “If you really want to see why you do things, then don’t do them and see what happens.” Michael Singer

  6. “If you’re OK, you don’t care. If you care, you’re not OK.” Michael Singer

  7. “The only thing you’re renouncing is your inability to handle yourself.” Michael Singer

  8. “Where you are not, God is. Where God is, you are not.” Michael Singer

  9. “You really don’t need more time before death. What you ned is more depth of experience during the time you’re given.” Michael Singer

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Maurice Fulton Was Here (2025), Photography by Hanna Marie, The Ferias Mile End Party, Montreal, Quebec

Meeting Bear The Kitten, Montreal, Quebec

MANDY BITES

  1. I love myself. I love being free of myself.

  2. It’s supposed to feel like this → ☁️ ☁️ ☁️

  3. I go where it’s the loudest, just to make it quiet.

  4. It’s all your own (un)doing.

  5. There is no workaround.

  6. GO. ALL. IN.

  7. Obligation is self-imposed.

  8. You determine the price of admission.

  9. If there’s an exchange, it isn’t pure.

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Leyli (2025), Taken at the Ferias Mile End Party, Montreal, Quebec

MANDY BITES

  1. If with or without doesn’t feel the same, your work is to bridge that divide.

  2. When you’re attached to form, you suffer. When you’re devoted to truth, you fly.

  3. There is no new consciousness.

  4. I don’t plan. I’m pulled.

  5. How do you know you're insane? You want this moment, this situation, this person to be different.

  6. The saner you are, the more insane you (and they) appear.

  7. Stop interacting with it as if it's real.

  8. The more you see through, the less interest you have in what you see.

  9. How could it get better than this when this is all there is?

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BEAST MANDY BITES

  1. Once upon a time, I fed myself to a wolf. I knew he was a wolf. And I wanted to be devoured.

  2. Too many people have tamed their beast. An animal isn’t meant to be caged.

  3. The powerless surrender to illusion. The powerful submit to truth.

  4. He has to die to be with me. As does anyone else.

  5. If your goal is to please her, you’re doing two things wrong.

  6. The alpha wants to lead. The beta wants to be led. The Beast wants neither thing. He leads by being himself.

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Stolen Wares (2024), Taken on Rue Saint Urbain, Montreal, Quebec

Source Unknown

ROLLER INSPIRED TRACKS

  1. Lookout Weekend | Debbie Deb

  2. Let The Music Play | Shannon

  3. Don’t Stop The Rock | Freestyle

  4. Set It Off | Strafe

  5. I Can’t Wait | Nu Shooz

  6. Push It | Salt-N-Pepa

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My Grand Kitty, Judy (2025)

CUNTY MANDY BITES

  1. Sometimes you’re their karma.

  2. Wakey-wakey, bitch.

  3. The answer is more butter.

  4. Hail nothing.

  5. Batshit sane.

  6. Permission to be cunty.

  7. She’s only a bitch if you are.

  8. WHO. GIVES. A. FUCK. DO. WHATEVER. THE. FUCK. YOU. WANT.

  9. The greatest cosmic joke is that we take any of this shit seriously.

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Peak Reflection (2023), Taken on Sherbrooke Street West, Montreal, Quebec

AFTER THE MANDYLAND EXPERIENCE

  1. “I feel so well fucked.”

  2. “God, this is like hydration in the desert.”

  3. “For a second there I forgot I was a fucking animal.”

  4. “Pure, piercing truth. Slicing through bullshit with the sharpest Japanese knife.”

  5. “Playing with you is unlike anything out there. Potent. Immediate. Not for the faint of heart.”

  6. “Mandy will kick you in the balls until you realize you have them.”

  7. “Mandy is an Olympic level player of the greatest game of all (the energetics).”

  8. “You basically incinerate the world of coaching. What you do is beyond paradigms.”

  9. “Your voice is one of the most visceral and informative and just no-holds-barred ones I see out there in the interwebs.”

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Artist: Mathilde Aubier

MANDY BITES ON THE WORK

  1. I’m here to destroy and be destroyed.

  2. My work is not for everyone. It’s barely for anyone. But for those who it was made for, nothing else will do.

  3. Them: “What do you do for a living?” Me: “Float through space.”

  4. Those who come to you, just know. Because you know. And they want to dance with that knowing.

  5. It’s not my job to wake people up. It’s my job to be, and remain, awake. Regardless of who’s sleeping.

  6. My existence is confronting to those who’ve yet to face themselves.

  7. Almost no one wants to go all the way.

  8. Most can’t ride, let alone fly.

  9. Anything you rely on will be stripped from you. You may as well strip yourself.

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Day Trippin’ (2024), Taken on Blvd Saint Laurent, Montreal, Quebec

MANDY BITES ON JESUS

  1. The world doesn’t need saving. Nor do you or anyone else. #sorrynotsorryjesus

  2. “I’m just following orders. Take it up with the Lord.” How to respond when people question your moves.

  3. It’s funny to me that people attribute / thank Jesus / God for them getting the things they want… but rarely (if ever) for the things they don’t.

  4. You’re not special. Your story’s not special. You’re a living god like everyone else.

  5. The whole ‘God is outside of you / bigger and more powerful than you’ thing is completely absurd.

  6. Heaven is being exactly who and where you are.

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Andie The Icon, Taken on her birthday / Valentine’s Day at Sans Soleil, Montreal, Quebec

ANDIE INSPIRED TRACKS

  1. More Than A Woman (Aaliyah Cover) | Kelly Lee Owens

  2. Streets (Amapiano Remix) | Loxiie Dee, Amapiano

  3. Rainbows | Shakti

  4. Weekends | Black Eyed Peas, Esthero

  5. In & Out | Moon King

  6. Miss Broadway | Glass Candy

  7. The Voice Of Q | Q

  8. Games People Play | Sweet G

  9. Rotation | Herb Alpert

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Nuit Blanche Line Up (2025), Taken at Sans Soleil, Montreal, Quebec

MANDY BITES ON TIME

  1. You never get there.

  2. What slows you down still speeds you up.

  3. When you see through and exist beyond space and time, it’s a pretty fucking epic ride.

  4. The truth of now voids the story of then.

  5. ‘Then’ doesn't exist in either direction.

  6. The only reason why you haven’t ‘gotten over’ your ‘past’ is because you’re using it in the present to justify why you’re not free.

  7. It takes consciousness. Not time.

  8. Being ahead of your time is still on time.

  9. The human needs time. The being exists outside of it.


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Hot Fire (2024), Maisonneuve Bike Path, Montreal, Quebec

MANDY BITES ON THE DEVIL

  1. You want the experience of IT. Not the ‘it’ itself.

  2. If you do it ‘for’ or ‘because’, it's not IT.

  3. Wherever you are is where IT's at.

  4. You question it because it's not IT.

  5. What’s not IT always leads to IT. So ALL of it is IT.

  6. When nothing can stop you, that’s IT.

  7. If it needs to be managed, it’s not IT.

  8. When you'd rather have nothing than whatever this is, so begins the free fall to IT.

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A Kiss For Prince (2010), The Old Forum Rollerskating Rink, Cambridge, Ontario

The Killer Doormen: Giulian and Bradley (2024), Taken outside Sans Soleil, Montreal, Quebec

MANDY BITES ON DEATH

  1. If you’re not ready to off yourself, I’m of no use to you.

  2. Death is nothing more than dropping form and remaining formless.

  3. Every being chooses when it enters and leaves this world. As well as what it enters into.

  4. The longing for death, at the deepest level, is the desire to live unbound.

  5. Everything makes you more. Regardless of what you’ve ‘lost’.

  6. You haven’t lost anything. But if you’re ballsy enough, and you’re doing it right, you’ll lose EVERY. SINGLE. THING.

  7. Stay where it's most alive, as everything dead falls away.

  8. You’re not truly living if you’re not perpetually dying.

  9. I don’t care how I’m remembered. I care how deeply I’m known.

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Gimlet By Gemma (2025), Taken at Sans Soleil, Montreal, Quebec

AFTER THE MANDYLAND EXPERIENCE

  1. “I've never felt so alive and free in my entire life.”

  2. “Truly life-changing.”

  3. “In shock.”

  4. “What makes a being like this? Purity. And Mandy? Oh. She is pure. Her purity has stolen my heart and cracked me into a million fucking pieces.”

  5. “You’re the only person I know who walks their talk. Completely

  6. “You have an authentic presence that is refreshing beyond much, if anything, that is 'out there' in the current time.”

  7. “I have remarked just how strong your frame is to serve a very purely streamed consciousness out on a buffet to the broader consciousness.”

  8. “What you bring to this plane is the thing that cuts through it all.”

  9. “In a lot of environments I move in, I’m the expert. So it’s a privilege experiencing an energy that feels cleaner and sharper than mine.”

  10. “You're one of the most coherent people on the planet.” 

  11. “I’ve had more forward movement in the last 24 hours than I’ve had in a year.”

  12. “Wow. SO HOT. And potent AF.”

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Marie’s Birthday (2024), Taken at Sans Soleil, Montreal, Quebec

GENIUS QUOTES

  1. “Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see.” Arthur Schopenhauer.

  2. “Genius is never understood in its own time.” Bill Watterson

  3. “For true creative geniuses, their medium is the twenty-four-hour period and their lives are their masterpieces." Victoria Moran

  4. “Geniuses are always marginalized to one degree or another. Someone wholly invested in the status quo is unlikely to disrupt it.” Eric Weiner

  5. “I was born brilliant, born bad, and a little bit mad.” Cruella De Vil 

  6. “No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” Aristotle

  7. “Genius is only a superior power of seeing.” John Ruskin 

  8. “A genius is simply one who has taken full possession of his own mind and directed it toward objectives of his own choosing, without permitting outside influences to discourage or mislead him.” Napoleon Hill

  9. “Every true genius is bound to be naive.” Friedrich Schiller

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Our Band Is Called Moa (2022), Taken at Noa’s, Tulum, Mexico

SANNA QUOTES

  1. “The thrill you’re seeking isn’t a physical one. It’s energetic.” Sanna Tirronen

  2. “They have to go through fire and hell to get to you.” Sanna Tirronen

  3. “It goes from a hurricane to a surgical knife.” Sanna Tirronen

  4. “First, you activate their knowing. Then, they blow your mind.” Sanna Tirronen

  5. “Surrender is settling for what you can’t submit to.” Sanna Tirronen

  6. “It is impossible to submit, to descend all the way, and not receive the unimaginable.” Sanna Tirronen

  7. “A leader’s only duty is to create at the edge of their own consciousness.” Sanna Tirronen

  8. “Nothing that is truly in integrity can be contained, managed or maintained.” Sanna Tirronen

  9. “If something is true, there is no risk of it falling apart.” Sanna Tirronen

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Our Album Cover (2024, Taken at Le Mal Nécessaire, Montreal, Quebec

CUNTY MANDY BITES

  1. If you’re not getting hotter by the day, you’re doing it wrong.

  2. The glow up is infinite when you keep current with yourself.

  3. Full self-ownership is my kink.

  4. I’m high on my own supply of gorgeous fucking energy.

  5. God damn, I turn myself on.

  6. #erectionsforeveryone

  7. I’m not afraid to take up space. The world could use more me.

  8. Drop a bomb. Disrupt the grid. Leave the scene. Repeat.

  9. Until they say, “Who IS this bitch?”, my mission is not complete.

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The Best Date Ever (2024), Taken at Moqueur, Montreal, Quebec

MY TENDER POEMS

  1. he feels the way / a good meal tastes

  2. i touch heaven / with and through him / and through me / endlessly

  3. it was the most natural dance with another / through the other who is me / a dance so fluid i didn’t notice the moves / i only felt the dance

  4. i have no interest in mortal love / i’m seeking the divine / a dancing of souls in the mystical realm / untouched by space and time

  5. caressing your sacred beauty / holding it firm in my hand / feeling your bliss move in and out / keeping it safe and warm

  6. and when you make love / i’ll be loved, too / touch her and you’ll touch me / for the more you are loved / the more you will share / jealous, i’ll never be

  7. beloved, you needn’t trade it / your freedom for this belle / they both are yours / no strings attached / i’ll give you her as well

  8. the sight of you aroused me so / your nakedness, your mouth / your perfect natural beauty / my adonis from the south

  9. i am an artist before his lover / i am mine before i am his

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SANSO INSPIRED TRACKS

  1. What You Won’t Do For Love | Michael Boothman

  2. She Can’t Love You | Chemise

  3. Only You | Steve Monite

  4. Could Heaven Ever Be Like This | Idris Muhammad

  5. Welcome Aboard | The Love Unlimited Orchestra

  6. Today’s Your Lucky Day (Dub Mix) | Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes

  7. Never Too Much | Luther Vandross

  8. Things Fall Apart | Steve Monite

  9. Let’s Get It Together | Shadow

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My Second Home (2024), Taken at Sans Soleil, Montreal, Quebec

AFTER THE MANDYLAND EXPERIENCE

  1. “What a fucking ride.”

  2. “It’s surreal. And so fucking ALIVE.”

  3. “There was a nuclear energetic bomb that just went off at the very core of everything.”

  4. “This is like nothing else.”

  5. “You're a fucking force.”

  6. “Parts of me froze and burned at the same time with alchemical impact.”

  7. “I especially love the razor edge of truth.”

  8. “It’s deep and clean and true.”

  9. “I feel so sane now.”

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The Anniversary Dinner (2024), Taken at Restaurant O’Thym, Montreal, Quebec

INDULGENT QUOTES

  1. “My life has been a magnificent indulgence.” Dick Van Dyke

  2. “Anything that feels good couldn't possibly be bad.” Angelina Jolie

  3. “All good things are wild and free.” Henry David Thoreau

  4. “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” Oscar Wilde

  5. “The best things in life are free. The second best things are very expensive.” Coco Chanel

  6. “I would never deny myself anything.” Mahesh Bhatt

  7. "The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it." Oscar Wilde

  8. “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.” William Blake

  9. “I can imagine myself on my deathbed, spent utterly with lust to touch the next world.” Aleister Crowley

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Bedroom Love, Cambridge, Ontario

MY RAW POEMS

  1. it’s the darker things / that lure me in / forbidden pleasures / and beautiful sins

  2. i want you / i want you / i want you / was all he said to me

  3. i like a man / who grunts and groans / while feasting on his kill

  4. it's hard to do the right thing / when the wrong thing feels like this

  5. to be adored / and to be your object / the tender and the raw / the poetic and the vulgar / my freedom and your reign

  6. all i want is to destroy you / strip you bare and leave you for dead

  7. i shall tie you to a pillar / as an offering to the gods / and then i shall consume you / make a drink of your sweet blood

  8. first you leave me dripping / then you curse me with a drought

  9. i live comfortably in excess / when it comes to things i love

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Fantasy Portrait by Agnieszka Lorek

MY SOFT POEMS

  1. as empty / as empty / can be

  2. from the depths / from the silence / from the world beyond this one

  3. my being writes / ahead of my life / love letters from me to me

  4. that was yesterday / so far away / i’ve travelled many skies since then

  5. meet me in / the in-between

  6. too pure and true / for the world / and you

  7. today i danced / and touched myself / the gift still satisfies

  8. juices flowing / rarely stirred

  9. i’m dancing beautifully / endlessly / i’m living a waking dream

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Ferias Wristbands (2025), Space Garage, Montreal, Quebec

FERIAS INSPIRED TRACKS

  1. Down The Line | Romare

  2. Your Love | Romare

  3. Miura | Metro Area

  4. Mapoch War | Caiiro 

  5. Amore Profondo (Cairo Remix) | REMIX) Sparrow & Barbossa, Nomvula SA, Caiiro

  6. Final Credits | Midland

  7. Heppy | Panthera Krause

  8. Kool FM (Champion Remix) | Four Tet, Champion

  9. Gosh | Jamie xx, MC Moose

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Birthday Liger (2024), Montreal, Quebec

NARCY MANDY BITES

  1. The real ‘no contact’ is with the abuser in your head.

  2. To blame the ‘narcissist’ for ‘manipulating’ you into ignoring that initial gut feeling and your brilliant inner knowing is completely absurd.

  3. When someone is free, they appear narcissistic to those still bound by themselves.

  4. The 'narcissist' and his so-called 'prey' are equally sick and addicted.

  5. Everything that surfaced through your dance with the ‘narc’ was there long before you two met.

  6. You lied to yourself before (and more than) they ever lied to you.

  7. The war, the hell, was (already) within. Perfectly out-pictured through ‘abuse’.

  8. The next one won’t be better. The same work will meet you there, too.

  9. Being with someone ugly steals your pretty. I’m not talking about looks. But those go, too.

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Pink Panther (2024), Blvd Saint Laurent, Montreal, Quebec

MICHAEL SINGER QUOTES

  1. “No matter how high you get, you can always get much higher.” Michael Singer

  2. “The solution to every problem you have is to do the necessary work to make it beautiful inside.” Michael Singer

  3. “You can either work on not getting disturbed, or you work on you (the self) not being distracted by the disturbed mind.” Michael Singer

  4. “What it means to work on yourself is to do whatever is necessary to prolong the period of time before you get sucked in and shorten the period of time until you come back out.” Michael Singer

  5. “At some point, it’s more important to understand what takes you out of it than how to get back into it.” Michael Singer

  6. “Yes, it will kill you. And you have to die lovingly and willingly until that’s what you enjoy; that feeling of freeing yourself by letting go of your ignorance and the illusions you hold inside yourself.” Michael Singer

  7. “Liberation at any cost.” Michael Singer

  8. “The world will show you where you’re not done yet.” Michael Singer

  9. “When you let go of you, there’s nothing but God and consciousness.” Michael Singer

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Fancy Ride (2024), Maisonneuve Bike Path, Montreal, Quebec

MANDY BITES ON CLUTTER

  1. Organizing clutter doesn’t get rid of clutter.

  2. You know exactly how to clean up your shit.

  3. It’s you putting things in your own way.

  4. They bring their mess to clean you up.

  5. Freshen it up or burn it down.

  6. The cleaner it gets inside and out, the more one notices - and the less one tolerates - debris of any kind.

  7. The only thing that's 'earned' is the state you experience from the work you do to keep that inner non-space pristine.

  8. It takes so little to play with me. But most are filled with so much.

  9. What feels like magic is just you unobstructed.

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Cat Alley Kitty (2024), Montreal, Quebec

KITTY QUOTES

  1. “Either the cat wants to do it or it doesn’t.” Lacie Evans

  2. “Women and cats will do as they please.” Robert A. Heinlein

  3. “One day I was counting the cats and I absent-mindedly counted myself.” Bobbie Ann Mason

  4. “Her function is to sit and be admired.” Georgina Strickland 

  5. “I have lived with several Zen masters. All of them cats.” Eckhart Tolle

  6. “I am the cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me.” Rudyard Kipling

  7. “Never trust a man who hates cats.” Jane Pauley

  8. “The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself.” William S. Burroughs

  9. “Purr more, hiss less.” Linda C. Marchman

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I Dreamed I Was A Daughter Of The Moon

in

I asked him, "What am I?"

He said I was a moth.

I asked him why I couldn't be a butterfly (I had always been a butterfly), but he said he didn't know.

I desperately wanted to make love to him, and I wanted to be made love to.

But he was a human and I was a moth.

A strange and frustrating thing.

So I hovered and fluttered around his neck as he led me up the stairs, and when he felt my winged kisses, he, too, was aroused.

He knew I was trespassing.

I knew he was forbidden.

I wasn't allowed to join him here, and not in this way, to be sure.

But these were not our rules.

They were not of our making.

Least of all, sane.

These rules belonged to the others.

The dim and unaware.

They did not apply to those whose sights transcended their limits.

They did not apply to creatures like he and I.

Our connection was strong.

Tenderly overwhelming.

We were destined to merge.

Our goal: become one.

And being that he was already a part of that world, while secretly being a part of mine, he cared enough to take me where I didn't belong.

He was privy to the path.

They'd never suspect a thing.

They'd only suspect me - the moth - a tender loving thing.

He looked like the others but to them, I was strange.

For being what I was.

For wanting what I want.

For going where they would not dare.

But he understood.

I only wanted to go higher.

I wanted to know more.

And I wanted him in his entirety.

He did not question my intentions.

He knew they were pure.

He did not question our differences because he knew we were the same.

He knew what I was, and what I was, was his.

He knew better than to hinder what he, too, desired for himself.

He conspired to make it happen.

And what mattered most is that he let me love him.

Let me touch him.

Let me follow this wild dream.

And I could not have been more grateful.

After holding back for what felt like an eternity,

with the whole universe pulsating within me,

I had nowhere to go but beyond all I'd ever known.

I desired him with a vengeance.

To devour every bit that I could.

I hungered for our union before reality woke us up.

Small as I was, my presence was known and felt.

My being was needed and craved.

And my touch turned him into mine as I sought to taste the places where he'd feel me the most deeply.

He, the human.

Me, the moth.

We, the illuminated.

△

Originally written and publicly shared in 2016.

And yes, this was an actual dream I had about a fellow at the time.

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The $1700 Edge (One Minute Clip)

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Watch the captioned video above or listen to the downloadable link below.

The $1700 Edge
Download

TRANSCRIPT

Her: “I’m testing the boundaries at the moment. I’m working with another teacher who you know, and just before I made an offer on this MasterClass, I had a session with her, and she had tested me and said, “Okay. Well, what do you feel comfortable offering?” kind of thing, and I felt like I handled it quite well. But I really struggled when it came to yours because there was nobody holding my hand, but I pushed myself with it as well. You were like, “Offer what’s true.” and I sat there with it and then I felt for my edges and I got to this point and I was like, “Oh, my God. I’m gonna do this thing on top of this other thing. I just did that and then I’m gonna do this”. And I was like but this is the only thing that feels right. Like I can’t, I couldn’t offer you anything else. There was nothing else I could give you that would be true. And I was just like okay, this is where I gotta go.”

△

Mandyland Radio is on Spotify, SoundCloud, iTunes, iHeartRadio, TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube and most other streaming platforms.

Book a private call to be fully exposed and beautifully destroyed.

Explore the Mandyland Radio Archives (from 2010 to now).

▽

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Mandy Bites On In/Sanity

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  1. Batshit sane.

  2. Almost no one wants to go all the way.

  3. The saner you are, the more insane you (and they) appear.

  4. How do you know you're insane? You want this moment, this situation, this person to be different.

  5. Stop interacting with it as if it's real.

  6. He’s caught in the delusion he’s at the mercy of his beast.

  7. When you’re attached to form, you suffer. When you’re devoted to truth, you fly.

  8. It’s the inability to withstand the intense aliveness of being that drives the impulse to dilute or run from it, just as the inability to withstand it drives the impulse to seek that same jolt of aliveness through superficial means.

  9. When someone is free, they appear narcissistic to those still bound by themselves.

  10. You can’t reason with insanity.

  11. It’s all your own (un)doing.

  12. Sanity is the new black.

  13. The line between truth and delusion is imperceptible to most.

  14. Human: runs from the present / dwells on the non-existent past / fears the illusory future / perpetually resists what IS (and suffers because of it) / consistently holds back truth / avoids making the true move / believes things, others, and life need(s) to be a certain way in order to feel okay / creates and then lives within endless, baseless, utterly insane stories / denies its sovereignty / blames the world and others and pretends to be a victim / takes zero responsibility for the creation and quality of its own experience / looks out instead of in… | Being: “And you wonder why you feel like shit?”

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Mandy Bites On Love

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  1. If there’s an exchange, it isn’t pure.

  2. Breakups don't break what needs breaking.

  3. There is no workaround.

  4. I love myself. I love being free of myself.

  5. What’s to love when you’re free of yourself? Except being free
    of yourself.

  6. Self-love is better than self-hate but being self-less is where it’s at.

  7. It’s not love or fear. It’s love and fear. Love includes the acceptance of fear. And anything else that arises.

  8. It 'falls apart' because it isn't true.

  9. If your goal is to please her, you’re doing two things wrong.

  10. All couples have problems. All people who look outside of themselves for something / anything have problems.

  11. #fillinthegapsifyouloveme

  12. Do the work within the current dynamic.

  13. The next one won’t be better. The same work will meet you there, too.

  14. “Hey, I ignored myself. Can you do me a solid and correct it on your end?” What you’re actually saying to someone when you ask or expect them to change.

  15. It’s not about how long it lasts. How long does it remain true?

  16. Why would you need to forgive? What happened wasn’t wrong (it just was). Nor was it about you.

  17. The concept of forgiveness is just as absurd as one human granting it to another.

  18. It’s not real love unless and until you have zero need / expectation / desire for the other to be different in any way.

  19. Speak the truth or walk away. It’s the loving thing to do.

  20. Most would rather have another cater / adapt to their dysfunction(s) / delusion(s) than to do the work necessary to correct it themselves.

  21. I don’t work to keep us together. I work to break things apart.

  22. Love and attachment cannot coexist.

  23. Love is when nothing remains.

  24. The less I care, the more I love.

  25. Loyal to truth; not the other.

  26. Full self-ownership is my kink.

  27. GO. ALL. IN.

  28. Almost no one wants to go all the way.

  29. It’s so silly not to be in love with me.

  30. Hearts don’t break. Attachments do.

  31. If your shit can be fucked with by another making moves, your shit clearly needs a good fucking.

  32. If it’s a NO for your being, it’s a NO for theirs, too. No exceptions.

  33. If with or without doesn't feel the same, your work is to bridge that divide.

  34. Even when I'm single, I move like I'm taken.

  35. No shame. No blame. No fault at all. Just full responsibility for each and every piece.

  36. Others aren’t distracting you. You’re using others to distract yourself.

  37. What I want cannot be bought. Nor found within another.

  38. If you made your dating choices from your lower self, you may be entitled to compensation.

  39. No need to show them the door. They’ll escort themselves out naturally, the closer you stay to you.

  40. The real ‘no contact’ is with the abuser in your head.

  41. Don’t aim for another. Master yourself.

  42. Their moves are not your business.

  43. Exposure is love (mis)perceived as a threat.

  44. You want to be chosen without choosing yourself.

  45. Even when you choose poorly, you still choose perfectly.

  46. I blow shit up endlessly. Because I love you and I love me.

  47. Your willingness and capacity to suffer with and for another, is not love (for yourself or for the other).

  48. Giving to receive isn't giving. It's manipulation.

  49. If there’s nothing left, I’m out. If there’s no thing at all, I’m in.

  50. What’s best for you is what’s best for them.

  51. You cannot be mine if you are not yours.

  52. I cannot be kept. I just stay where it’s true.

  53. Intimacy only exists when you stay.

  54. Matterless love is the purest love there is.

  55. The human wants a particular thing. The being loves (and uses) what is.

  56. It's not true love until there's nothing in the way.

  57. People ‘love’ you more when you suffer. Let that shit sink in.

  58. They ‘love’ you on your way. But not once you arrive.

  59. If you have to dilute yourself for love, it's not love.

  60. If you aren’t fascinated by and obsessed with your lover, then what’s the fucking point?

  61. I’m not here to spread love and light. I’m here to disrupt the grid. I’m here to dig and dismantle. I’m here to make the unknown, known.

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Mandy Bites On Silence / Stillness / s p a c e

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  1. I go where it’s the loudest, just to make it quiet.

  2. I don’t move until I’m moved.

  3. Here, right now, is the only place that's true.

  4. The higher you go, the quieter it gets.

  5. No one can take you where no one has gone before.

  6. The only thing that's 'earned' is the state you experience from the work you do to keep that inner non-space pristine.

  7. Death is nothing more than dropping form and remaining formless.

  8. Heaven is THIS; not that. Heaven is HERE; not there.

  9. It’s about how still and spacious you are (and stay) as every piece drops in.

  10. There’s a still point deep inside you. Everything comes from that.

  11. Saying nothing says everything that needs to be said.

  12. She’s most aroused while in the void.

  13. If there’s nothing left, I’m out. If there’s no thing at all, I’m in.

  14. Truth exists, always was, is, and will be, regardless of the noise.

  15. Stillness. Silence. S p a c e. Beneath the chaos, that’s all there is.

  16. When you move, nothing moves. Everything moves when you’re still.

  17. Existing wide awake and never moving IS the happening.

  18. no thing = everything

  19. Purity is the currency.

  20. THIS or nothing + THIS because there’s no thing.

  21. When you see through and exist beyond space and time, it’s a pretty fucking epic ride.

  22. Nothing can bridge the (illusory) consciousness gap. Only no thing can.

  23. Why would you want anything other than what already is?

  24. How could it get better than this when this is all there is?

  25. when there’s no one / when there’s no thing / when you’re empty / then you’ll see

  26. Nothing is sacred unless everything is.

  27. Every question answers itself.

  28. What feels like magic is just you unobstructed.

  29. Nothing needs to be added. What’s removed is what changes the game.

  30. The more that’s removed, the more there is.

  31. Let there be nothing. It's the breeding ground for more.

  32. You’re here to clear the atmosphere.

  33. In the void, you’re free.

  34. Anything that isn’t truth, that isn’t you, is clutter.

  35. Them: “What do you do for a living?” Me: “Float through space.”

  36. It takes so little to play with me. But most are filled with so much.

  37. Your system is naturally self-cleaning.

  38. I was terrified there would be nothing left. But when nothing was left, I was free.

  39. Your job isn’t done until the matter is gone.

  40. as empty as empty can be

  41. All things exist to be made pure.

  42. Love is when nothing remains.

  43. The deepest truths apply across the board. They’re simple, obvious, light.

  44. from the depths / from the silence / from the world beyond this one

  45. Nothing is missing.

  46. I’m here to keep flying in the face of what IS. To want nothing different from the moment I’m in.

  47. home is where i am / and where i’ve always been

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Mandy Bites On Self-Abandonment

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  1. Exhaustion comes from self-abandonment (a lack of integrity) while dealing with other people; not from dealing with other people.

  2. The more you self-abandon, the more symptomatic you become.

  3. All you’re doing with all that doing is dancing around your own fire.

  4. You only point at others when you’ve turned against yourself.

  5. Your habitual state is not your natural state.

  6. It’s all your own (un)doing.

  7. If you weren't trying to outsource from another what you can only provide for yourself, you would not have ended up in something that hurts you.

  8. To blame the ‘narcissist’ for ‘manipulating’ you into ignoring that initial gut feeling and your brilliant inner knowing is completely absurd.

  9. Why are you mad at them for your choice to betray yourself?

  10. Your system inevitably screams NO when you've ignored its multiple whispers.

  11. “Things were never the same after that.” After you stayed when you should have left.

  12. If you do it ‘for’ or ‘because’, it's not IT.

  13. Others aren’t distracting you. You’re using others to distract yourself.

  14. If you choose something or someone over yourself, you're gonna have a hard time.

  15. It all goes out the window in the face of what is.

  16. It’s the inability to withstand the intense aliveness of being that drives the impulse to dilute or run from it, just as the inability to withstand it drives the impulse to seek that same jolt of aliveness through superficial means.

  17. We only feel the need to ‘escape’ when we’re existing unnaturally.

  18. It hurts so you can learn how to not do that shit that hurts you.

  19. Regardless of the ‘issue’, it’s about your relationship to power.

  20. The other isn't the reason that you deviate from YOU. The other is the excuse you use to abandon what is true.

  21. You only need to 'cope' when you choose to leave home.

  22. You want to leave because you’ve yet to fully own YOU. And there’s no greater pain than that.

  23. One must abandon themselves in the attempt to fill through external means what can only be satisfied internally through learning how to not self-abandon in the first place.

  24. What's a little more poison when you're already sick?

  25. You want to be chosen without choosing yourself.

  26. Living inside a NO is one of the helliest hells there is.

  27. It's you putting things in your own way.

  28. Approval seeking aka self-rejecting.

  29. I won't abandon myself for another. No one is worth that transgression.

  30. You get what you say yes to. And all the shit that brings.

  31. Your deepest, most excrutiating pain comes from one thing only.

  32. You lied to yourself before (and more than) they ever lied to you.

  33. Life will force the expansion you’re not willing to take on your own.

  34. You do what you’re told by them. I do what I’m told by me.

  35. You think it’s too risky to be wild. So you’d rather play dead to stay ‘safe’.

  36. The powerless surrender to illusion. The powerful submit to truth.

  37. Your level of pain is equal to your level of resistance. To your genius. To your power. To truth.

  38. You are the only remedy for your suffering.

  39. Waiting on God is waiting on you.

  40. When you deny yourself, you deny God itself. #samething

  41. Obligation is self-imposed.

  42. Follow yourself. Unfollow the rest.

  43. When you aim, you miss.

  44. Stop leaving here to go 'there' and the ‘problem’ dissolves.

  45. You created X when you disowned the truth. When you own the truth, X disappears.

  46. Their maps can’t take you HOME.

  47. Don’t look to me for how to be. You already know what to do.

  48. You’re not at the mercy of the planets.

  49. How to successfully human: 1. Honour external commitments. 2. Ignore internal commands.

  50. Stop buying into your own bullshit and you’ll be just fine.

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Mandy Bites On The Mind

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  1. What you actually want and are, is beyond the mind and the need to manage it or anything else.

  2. Mind over matter? The mind IS matter.

  3. You can’t honour truth through logic.

  4. You aren’t the conversation you’re having in your head.

  5. Mindset work takes you even deeper into the programming (illusion) you’re attempting to free yourself from by doing mindset work.

  6. The only ‘tool’ you actually need is custom-built into each moment.

  7. You use and teach tools and processes because you don’t trust yourself enough to go rogue.

  8. Why would you put the mentally ill (human) in charge of your life?

  9. The real ‘no contact’ is with the abuser in your head.

  10. Thoughts don't create distortions. They're sourced from them.

  11. Thoughts don’t create reality. You do. And you are not your thoughts.

  12. The human thinks one thing. The being knows another.

  13. Don’t mind me. I’m just freebasing life.

  14. Do it in your head = head game. Do it for real = game over.

  15. “WhY iS tHiS pErSoN wHo sHoWeD mE riGhT fRoM tHe sTaRt tHaT tHeY aiN’t riGhT iN tHe hEaD… nOt aCtiNg riGhT?”

  16. If you care more about what they think than you do about what’s true, you’re in a prison of your own design.

  17. i lose friends / and gain followers / for saying what’s on my mind (2012)

  18. off to bed / with a bleeding heart / you must be on my mind (2015)

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Mandy Bites On Mastery

in , ,

  1. Hail nothing.

  2. New moment? Back at it.

  3. It’s supposed to feel like this → ☁️ ☁️ ☁️

  4. The higher you go, the quieter it gets.

  5. Everything is an exercise in personal power.

  6. Everything you make matter, becomes your Master. When nothing matters, you’re free.

  7. You don’t actually want to be saved. You want to be the Master of yourself and the domain that’s housed by you.

  8. Each iteration fuels the next.

  9. Enter the belly of the imagined beast.

  10. GO. ALL. IN.

  11. Almost no one wants to go all the way.

  12. If with or without doesn't feel the same, your work is to bridge that divide.

  13. Anything you rely on will will be stripped from you. You may as well strip yourself.

  14. The work is to do the work until nothing remains. Until nothing can move you from you.

  15. Masters exist beyond the tribe.

  16. Most can’t ride, let alone fly.

  17. In the land of energetics, it's every hottie for themselves.

  18. You know exactly how to clean up your shit.

  19. Rise through the ranks within yourself.

  20. Be the last one standing.

  21. What you've yet to master in the non-physical, you over-compensate for in the physical.

  22. The powerless surrender to illusion. The powerful submit to truth.

  23. Masters don’t need to be pushed or kicked. They willingly jump off the cliff.

  24. When you know the game is to become more conscious, you use everything in front of you towards that end.

  25. I don’t care about bridging our divide. I care about bridging my own.

  26. I don’t care how it appears. I know what’s going on.

  27. Don't aim to help others. Master yourself. This 'helps' them most of all.

  28. Those who come to you, just know. Because you know. And they want to dance with that knowing.

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Mandy Bites On Questions

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  1. You ask but you already know.

  2. Every question answers itself.

  3. How do you know you're insane? You want this moment, this situation, this person, to be different.

  4. Kill or be killed? No. Kill and be killed. Repeatedly.

  5. It’s not about how long it lasts. How long does it remain true?

  6. Why would you even bother, if you know how it’s going to go?

  7. Why would you put the mentally ill (human) in charge of your life?

  8. My drug of choice? Consciousness.

  9. Who cares if no one likes it? Who cares if no one gets it? Is it true? Is it you? That's enough.

  10. Actions speak louder than words? Energy speaks louder than both.

  11. Why would you want anything other than what already is?

  12. How could it get better than this when this is all there is?

  13. If you’re creating a system to counter the system… Need I say more?

  14. Why are you mad at them for your choice to betray yourself?

  15. Why manage something you shouldn’t be fucking with at all?

  16. WHO. GIVES. A. FUCK. DO. WHATEVER. THE. FUCK. YOU. WANT.

  17. What’s to love when you’re free of yourself? Except being free
    of yourself.

  18. “Hey, I ignored myself. Can you do me a solid and correct it on your end?” What you’re actually saying to someone when you ask or expect them to change.

  19. When will you choose not to walk through that door that you know is not for you?

  20. Why would you need to forgive? What happened wasn’t wrong. Nor was it about you.

  21. From the outside, it looked insane. To my human, it felt like hell. But obliteration was what I was after. Why else would I have danced right there?

  22. Mind over matter? The mind IS matter.

  23. That thing? That person? Not more powerful than you.

  24. Do you want what your human wants or do you want the fucking truth?

  25. What's a little more poison when you're already sick?

  26. If you aren’t fascinated by and obsessed with your lover, then what’s the fucking point?

  27. It doesn’t matter what you learned back then. What do you know now?

  28. No pleasure in the process? No pleasure in the outcome. Pleasure in the process? The outcome becomes irrelevant.

  29. Since when does a god have to try?

  30. Pure consciousness. That’s what you are. Why would you need time?

  31. Is my genius taking over your timeline? Boofuckinghoo. And you’re welcome.

  32. Them: “What do you do for a living?” Me: “Float through space.”

  33. Why would I be less me for anybody? The more me, the better. For everybody.

  34. Why do we resist the reshaping of our lives?

  35. Are you naked yet?

  36. New moment? Back at it.

  37. If you’re not being transported, then what’s the fucking point?

  38. It’s not: “Why are they like that?” It’s: “Why am I with that?”

  39. “WhY iS tHiS pErSoN wHo sHoWeD mE riGhT fRoM tHe sTaRt tHaT tHeY aiN’t riGhT iN tHe hEaD… nOt aCtiNg riGhT?”

  40. Why block? Let them see you be great.

  41. You don’t have it? You don’t need it. When you need it, it will come.

  42. Until they say, “Who IS this bitch?”, my mission is not complete.

  43. I don't ask because I don't care.

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The Noise Within The One (An Essay)

in , , , , ,

There is the ‘me’ (and ‘you’) that dips into illusion / delusion / perceived separation / a temporary state of fear and insanity (looking at life / self / others through the limited / distorted human lens).

And the ME (and YOU) that exists in actual reality.

In sanity / union / peace / clarity / purity / potent power.

In REAL love (not the human kind) -

with nothing in the way.

It’s not one or the other though.

The other is part of THE ONE.

That noisy ‘me’ is part of ME.

That noisy ‘you’ is part of YOU.

Every part is part of THE EVERYTHING.

So it belongs and it’s not wrong.

It’s here to be seen and then seen through.

Until it’s quiet once again.

△

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Mandy Bites On Time

in , ,

  1. You never get there.

  2. What slows you down still speeds you up.

  3. Every being chooses when it enters and leaves this world. As well as what it enters into.

  4. There are times when a NO within an experience is enough to keep it fresh and intact energetically. And times when a NO must be applied to it directly, in order to maintain that same level of integrity.

  5. If you’re loyal to the past, you can’t be loyal to the present.

  6. The truth of now voids the story of then.

  7. ‘Then’ doesn't exist in either direction.

  8. Being ahead of your time is still on time.

  9. ‘A’ doesn’t equal ‘B’ when you play in the unseen.

  10. The only reason why you haven’t ‘gotten over’ your ‘past’ is because you’re using it in the present to justify why you’re not free.

  11. Pure consciousness. That’s what you are. Why would you need time?

  12. The human needs time. The being exists outside of it.

  13. If you choose something or someone over yourself, you're gonna have a hard time.

  14. She has the time. Just not for you.

  15. Every where is here. Every time is now.

  16. When you stop making it matter, it comes. Or it doesn’t. By then, it doesn't matter.

  17. You don’t need more time. You just need to listen to you.

  18. There are times when silence is the absolute truth. And times when it’s used to avoid it.

  19. When you see through and exist beyond space and time, it’s a pretty fucking epic ride.

  20. It takes consciousness. Not time.

  21. consciousness > time

  22. Someone 'coming into power' is not a defining line on the timeline any more than a falling leaf is.

  23. You don’t have it? You don’t need it. When you need it, it will come.

  24. Once upon a time, I fed myself to a wolf. I knew he was a wolf. And I wanted to be devoured.

  25. Is my genius taking over your timeline? Boofuckinghoo. And you’re welcome.

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Mandy Bites On Wealth

in , ,

  1. What I want cannot be bought. Nor found within another.

  2. Denying yourself depletes your account since everything is sourced from you.

  3. If there’s an exchange, it isn’t pure.

  4. The work is done now or not at all.

  5. Money can’t buy a beautiful life.

  6. Everything makes you more. Regardless of what you’ve ‘lost’.

  7. Accumulation doesn’t impress or interest me. I prefer things light; not heavy.

  8. You have access to all of it. No more and no less than anyone else.

  9. ‘A’ does not equal ‘B’ when you play in the unseen.

  10. You think it’s the money you want but it’s not. You want the experience of completely trusting your innate power and ability to create anything from nothing (including money). Regardless of circumstance. Regardless of another.

  11. My goal isn't the money. It's just the overflow of ME.

  12. Money doesn’t come from other people. It comes from you, through other people.

  13. As long as you're settling for a less than true existence, you have yet to earn the 'riches' that you misperceive are missing.

  14. You can't use external metrics to measure what's actually true.

  15. The experience shows you where you’re deficient. Not as a person. But in power and self-ownership.

  16. You can only work with what’s in front of you.

  17. Purity is the currency.

  18. You don’t have it? You don’t need it. When you need it, it will come.

  19. If it isn’t freely given, it isn’t yours to take.

  20. It’s you putting things in your own way.

  21. Fuck the idea that you have to do something to ‘add value’ to the world. There is nothing more ‘valuable’ than being who you are.

  22. No pleasure in the process? No pleasure in the outcome. Pleasure in the process? The outcome becomes irrelevant.

  23. My work is not for everyone. It’s barely for anyone. But for those who it was made for, nothing else will do.

  24. Those who come to you, just know. Because you know. And they want to dance with that knowing.

  25. The glow up is infinite when you keep current with yourself.

  26. I want what’s for me. And what’s for me is whatever does or doesn’t happen.

  27. Every descent reaps more gold.

  28. You can't access the MORE while saying yes to less.

  29. The most powerful decisions are made without backup, without proof.

  30. The real magic doesn’t happen once you get the shit. It happens once you clear it.

  31. nothing = everything

  32. You already have what you actually want. You’re just taking the long way around.

  33. You crave external markers when internal spots aren’t hit.

  34. Ignoring yourself is expensive as hell.

  35. Let there be nothing. It's the breeding ground for more.

  36. I haven’t lost my magic. And that’s how I know I’ve won.

  37. They love you on your way. But not once you arrive.

  38. You must account for the trickle down.

  39. Do you want what your human wants or do you want the fucking truth?

  40. If with or without doesn't feel the same, your work is to bridge that divide.

  41. Them: “What do you do for a living?” Me: “Float through space.”

  42. you must earn your spot / at the head of the table / that sits no one else / but you

  43. The only thing that's 'earned' is the state you experience from the work you do to keep that inner non-space pristine.

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