The ‘narcissist’ IS the lie.
A fabrication.
So every deception
is a function of that.
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The Countdown Is On (An Essay)
The narc is just as surprised as you are that you keep taking it.
#howlowcanwego
That you keep convincing yourself it’s something other than what it is.
#thecountdownisonuntilyoucatchon
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Don't Get Tricked By The Flashing Lights (An Essay)
“We’ve only just begun.”
“Now more than ever…”
“In these challenging times…”
No.
The same shit has been going on and will continue to go on for eons.
There is nothing new or groundbreaking or ‘worse than before’ happening.
Except to you / your mind / that mission-based and externals-believing self.
The ‘new’ that you perceive is your own increased awareness.
The lens getting clearer.
You’re seeing through more and more and it feels revolutionary (and you position it as such),
but it’s not.
It just is.
And it was before you and it will be after you.
The truth has been here this whole time.
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Everything Makes Sense (An Essay)
When you deliberately play at the energetic level,
when you see beyond the veil and make your moves from there,
you have the ability to look at all things / situations / dynamics retroactively - before you caught on to what you always knew - and you understand exactly what was going on.
You can pinpoint exactly when and why you or another deviated from truth and the natural / inevitable consequences of that choice.
Everything makes sense.
And when you ‘get’ the ‘energetics of dysfunction’ as it were,
that generate and and keep any toxic / twisted system / dynamic in place (which at the most fundamental level is just the deviation from truth),
you can no longer be surprised by anything that happens in the world / between humans / at an individual level.
Because it’s all the same.
And it’s a given that things would unfold as they did and do based on the black and whiteness of energetic truth.
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Clean + Dirty Narc (An Essay)
The ‘narcissist’ is the inversion of truth.
They are a void.
But not a clean one.
The void is compensatory.
They don’t care about you.
But not in a clean way.
The lack of care is compensatory.
They are selfish.
But not in a clean way.
The selfishness is compensatory.
They use things and others.
But not in a clean way.
Their using is compensatory.
And…
when someone IS a clean void
when someone truly doesn’t care (about illusions / matter / appearances / the false and self-victimized you)
when someone IS ‘selfish’ (self-sourced / in energetic integrity / unwavering / true move making regardless of others)
when someone uses ALL things and people (to sharpen, to erect, to deepen and purify themselves)
they appear narcissistic
to those still bound by themselves
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The Beautiful Thing About Narcissistic Abuse (An Essay)
The beautiful thing about ‘narcissistic abuse’…
(hear me out - and quotation marks because on the deepest level it’s not abuse of any kind - it’s a self-generated invitation to MORE)
is that it fundamentally changes you.
In that it propels you even more deeply and fully into YOU.
Into your power.
Into actual truth.
If that’s what you choose.
Stripping you of all the illusions / delusions that once brought and kept you dancing with the devil at the expense of yourself -
a choice you actively made.
The ‘narcissist’ wasn’t your kryptonite.
They didn’t hold any real power to derail you or your life.
It was everything that surfaced through your dance with them that was truly holding you back.
* that part *
And it was there looooooong before you two ever met.
The ‘narcissist’ was just the vehicle through which you could see your blind spots more clearly and if you were up for it - correct them accordingly.
This so-called monster was nothing more than an interchangeable player in your game because let’s face it…
If it wasn’t THAT narc it would be another narc until you learned what you needed to learn.
Until YOU changed.
Not them.
Because it was never about them.
And what they did or didn’t do was never about you either.
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Welcome The Narc (An Essay)
You’d be much better off viewing the presence of a ‘narcissist’ in your life as a good thing.
A great thing, in fact.
Especially if they’re still ruffling your feathers.
They are here to show you yourself.
To show you precisely where you’ve veered from who you are and where you’ve yet to stand in your power.
(Your pretty feathers couldn’t get ruffled by an energetic toddler otherwise)
They are the messenger - and a powerful one at that - brought into your life (by YOU, my friend) to bring all of your shit to the surface - to be trampled on even more - until you’re forced and ready to do your work.
They aren’t the villain.
They simply exposed you - to you.
They electrified you.
Crucified you.
Which then erected you to your natural state.
So let a ‘thank you’ follow the ‘fuck you.’
If it weren’t for them,
these devilish friends,
you’d still be (energetically) weak.
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A Mighty Fine Loss (An Essay)
If you weren’t trying to outsource from another what you can only provide for yourself,
you would not have ended up in something that hurts you.
You would not feel betrayed.
Or believe yourself to be a victim.
The good news is that the part that hurts isn’t the real you anyways.
The pain is from your illusion(s) / attachments being shattered (as they should be / needed to be).
And facing the reality that only you can ‘save’ yourself (come into full power) - instead of depending on someone or something else to enable and feed your (perceived) powerlessness.
Losing the delusion that someone else is responsible for how you feel, for where you are, for what you chose / choose, for what comes next…
is a mighty fine ‘loss’ and the greatest gift of all.
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The Internal Holocaust (An Essay)
What was brought to the surface through the internal holocaust that is ‘narcissistic abuse’…
was already buried deep inside of you before this creature appeared.
That vacuous energy,
that disordered little ghost,
the one that had you spinning out of control…
held no real power or ability to generate a thing inside of you;
let alone something brand new.
Its existence in your field simply provided the exact configuration to rattle the cage you were already in.
And its mission was to do that until you finally let yourself out.
The ‘narcissist’ didn’t put or keep you there.
You were being shown precisely where you were already.
In a cage you had built yourself.
You were being faced with a level of density you’d been contending with all your life; albeit unconsciously, through the one(s) you chose to dance with as you died to each (illusory) piece.
If anything, you had entered a house of mirrors.
Waging a war with what you thought was ‘out there’.
But in reality,
the war,
and the hell,
was (already) within.
Perfectly out-pictured through ‘abuse’.
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Who Should Be Accountable? (An Essay)
“They need to be held accountable.”
Actually, they don’t.
That’s what you think *you* need.
To make things ‘right’.
To be free.
But once you hold yourself accountable,
you won’t need that from another.
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The Narcissistic Invitation (An Essay)
The ‘narcissist’ was the symptom.
The ‘problem’ was you.
The problem was your orientation towards yourself.
The problem was what you were not yet conscious of.
The problem was that you were looking outside instead of in.
Which isn’t actually a problem.
It’s just an opportunity.
And it was the ‘narcissist’ that hand-delivered that opportunity to you.
Serving you up to yourself until you finally got it right.
Until you saw yourself clearly and naturally moved accordingly.
Until you stopped blaming others for what you were doing to yourself.
Until you took all the responsibility you were handing over to them.
Sure, they were ‘using’ you for ‘supply’.
So what?
You were using them to become even greater.
They were the catalyst that catapulted you into the stratosphere of genuine power.
If, and only if, you were smart enough to do the work.
So the ‘narcissist’ was never the problem.
They were the gift.
The invitation.
The initiation.
Into you.
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Don't Blame The Narc (An Essay)
To blame the ‘narcissist’ for manipulating you into ignoring that gut feeling and your brilliant inner knowing is absurd.
Own your choice to ignore yourself to gain something else from them.
It’s not ‘victim’ blaming.
It’s adult responsibility taking.
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Undercover Narc (An Essay)
Only the powerless feel the need to deceive.
To hide, to perform, to resort to secrecy.
To control, to manipulate, to exploit and to take.
And only because they’ve (temporarily) forgotten how powerful they actually are, and mistakenly believe they must swindle the world to get what they actually want.
But what’s rightfully theirs already exists.
Beyond the need to fabricate a thing.
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It's Harrowing (An Essay)
“It’s harrowing”…
to drop the mask
to face yourself
to have nowhere to hide
“It’s harrowing”…
to admit what you’ve done
to run from yourself
to keep trudging along
“It’s harrowing”…
to keep up the act
to now watch your back
to now be exposed
“It’s harrowing”…
to be what you are
when what you’ve become
is so far from home
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When The Delulu Disappears (An Essay)
when the delulu disappears
and the trauma goggles drop
when you see through all the lies
that weren’t enough to make you stop
when the hope has finally died
because you see it for what it is
the attachment finally breaks
and you return to innocence
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Going No Contact (An Essay)
Going ‘no contact’ achieves nothing if you’re still energetically bound.
It provides a temporary buffer at most, for you to start getting your shit together by breaking shit apart.
But if you’re not doing the actual work of addressing and correcting what led to this twisted dynamic that you’re now needing / trying to extract yourself from,
you’ll just be going ‘no contact’ with the next one and the next and the next until you finally see that you are the source of the fucked up dynamic;
not them.
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You Left You (An Essay)
Being in a ‘toxic’ / ‘abusive’ / ‘narcissistic’ relationship doesn’t erode your self-trust.
You never had it to begin with.
Hence said relationship.
You didn’t honour what you knew and felt from the start.
Clearly.
Because something else was more important to you.
And then shit went sideways as it inevitably would and you blamed the other for the hot mess you were in.
But it was you who left you to get something from them.
Instead of giving it to yourself.
To add…
Being in a ‘healthy’ (or seemingly healthier) relationship post ‘toxic’ relationship still isn’t IT if you’re now, once again, looking to another for what you’re still not generating yourself, no matter how good it feels.
You’re outsourcing from a cleaner supply but you’re still outsourcing regardless.
#theylovemesonowilovemetoo
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Stop It Already (Mandy Bite)
Stop buying into your own bullshit and you’ll be just fine.
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Call Management (Mandy Bite)
No Correlation (Mandy Bite)
‘A’ does not equal ‘B’ when you play in the unseen.
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