Essays
alpha
beta
divine masculine
it’s all just limp dick energy
#nooffencetolimpdickstho
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She’s in the mood.
Just not for you.
She has the time.
Just not for you.
She would do anything.
Just not for you.
Because your game is weak.
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Everything you need to know to have her eating out of the palm of your hand.
From the practical to the profound.
For gamers to CEOs.
For the tightest game you’ve ever played.
The Beast Bible is for you.
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She didn’t put you in the friend zone.
You did that to yourself.
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Almost every man on the planet is energetically limp as fuck.
If that offends you, then good.
If you want to change that, even better.
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People pleasers aren’t any less controlling or manipulative than those who ‘take advantage’ of them.
Both are positioning themselves, and using others, to get their artificial needs met.
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From one of Sanna’s lives:
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You could walk around disrupting everything, but that’s not a turn on for your High Feminine.
She’s very specific about the things that actually are fun, and high-quality enough, and challenging enough - in other words, a turn on for her - to disrupt.
When you’re just beginning to get access to your High Feminine, it feels very tempting to go around destroying everything and disrupting every discord you see just for the sake of enjoying the freedom that She finally has.
And it IS fun… for a second.
And then it gets boring for you and your High Feminine, so you start getting sharper and narrowing it down.
You start being more precise about what you are available to disrupt, what deserves your genius, and what is just not worth it for your High Feminine.
And most of it is not.
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From one of Sanna’s lives:
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There is the swampy feminine version of ‘money doesn’t matter’ and then there is the High Feminine version of ‘money doesn’t matter’.
The swampy feminine version of it is that you spend it wherever.
You get sloppy because ‘it doesn’t matter’.
The High Feminine version is ‘money doesn’t matter’ AND you keep following the No, which actually means that you’re going to be spending less money than ever AND it’s going be easier and easier to both attract and keep money in your field AND make more and more of it because even though the money doesn’t matter, the quality of the experience does.
So if any physical thing is not a turn on for you, and if the quality of the turn on is not high enough, then it’s a No.
But a lot of people surrender.
They settle in their purchases and in everything that has to do with money.
And because they surrender, they spend money on things that are not actually a turn on, just like they spend energy on things that are not actually a turn on.
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One must abandon themselves in the attempt to ‘fill’ through external means what can only be satisfied internally through learning how to not self-abandon in the first place.
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Whatever the addiction / compulsion is makes no difference.
It’s only ever about one’s relationship to their own power.
Which is perfectly demonstrated / out-pictured through one’s relationship to,
and experience of,
said substance / behaviour / person.
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oversharing
or overanything
even underanything
if we get down to it
is an attempt to ‘empty out’
to release the increasing pressure
of an overloaded system
by any means necessary
which feels vastly different
from the over and under
of anything at all
from a system that’s clean
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When your energy is intact,
there is nothing you need to hold.
Nor would you even want to.
Nor could you if you tried.
Everything comes and goes.
And passes through unobstructed.
Nothing is held in the moment.
Free from everything.
Always new.
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I knew our last dinner together would be our last dinner together.
The mission was complete.
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I don’t feel tethered to anyone.
Not even to my own child.
And if you can’t understand how this can be,
and how this is the highest expression and experience of true love and ultimate freedom,
we should talk.
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we are two planets colliding
getting smashed to smithereens
and when the damage is done
there is s p a c e
and in that space
we recalibrate
shocked and startled
once again
neither knowing what’s to come
from the rubble left in our wake
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if it didn’t destroy me
if parts of me weren’t forced to die
repeatedly
and quite potently
through the is-ness of he and i
there’d be no pull for me to stay
- not with him -
but with all that arises
through the mutual destruction that our interactions bring
this alone is what interests me
because i’m interested in what disturbs me
and i’m interested in the art of becoming less disturbed
by what throws me off my game
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I do the opposite of what they say to do
With a man
As a woman
Whatever the fuck that means
I am sharp
Not soft (and I am - very)
I challenge everything
Until there’s nothing
I don’t let anything go
Until it returns back to zero
(an inside job - read more)
And as he’s said…
I’m relentless
Unyielding
Exacting
Demanding
Militant
Trenchant
Mercurial
And yet…
He’s still here
Right here
Closer than most will ever be (his words)
To me
To themselves
To heaven
To another
Precisely because I do the opposite of what they say to do
With a man
As a woman
Whatever the fuck that means
Why would I be less me for anybody
The more me, the better
For everybody
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He and I are so damn close.
Again tonight,
brought to tears.
(over dinner at my favourite spot)
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if you wouldn’t choose it again today
and again right now
if the slate was clean
(it is)
then there’s a reason you’re choosing to overstay
and that reason is not truth
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If someone is stuck on their bullshit, I swerve.
I want nothing to do with it.
They can figure that out on their own time.
Not mine.
You couldn’t pay me enough to deal with someone who is not ready to let go of their shit.
Because there’s nothing there for me.
And I could care less if they’re ever ready.
I am absolutely not invested in someone else’s freedom.
At all.
They have to want that for themselves enough to do what needs to be done.
Which means letting go of their crutches and excuses and actually standing on their own.
At that point, we play.
Until then, I’m gone.
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