Addiction

Mandy Bites On Addiction

  1. What you’ve yet to own, owns you.

  2. Doing or not doing won’t correct what needs correcting.

  3. It’s the inability to withstand the intense aliveness of being that drives the impulse to dilute or run from it, just as the inability to withstand it drives the impulse to seek that same jolt of aliveness through superficial means.

  4. There is a purity, an innocence, and a very clean desire at the heart of every addiction / compulsion.

  5. If the pain runs deep, the power does, too. Most fear the latter, so they settle on the former.

  6. We each create exactly what we’re inevitably here to dissolve.

  7. The addiction itself is not the issue. What’s sourcing the pattern of addiction IS. And even that is not an issue.

  8. It’s no one’s job to keep you stable. It’s your job to contend with your own instability.

  9. You are the only remedy for your suffering.

  10. You created X when you disowned the truth. When you own the truth, X disappears.

  11. Stop leaving here to go ‘there’ and the ‘problem’ dissolves.

  12. Addiction is what you choose in lieu of owning and applying your power.

  13. It hurts so you can learn how to not do that shit that hurts you.

  14. What's a little more poison when you're already sick?

  15. Every descent reaps more gold.

  16. The only ‘tool’ you actually need is custom-built into each moment.

  17. You don’t actually want to be saved. You want to be the Master of yourself and the domain that’s housed by you.

  18. You ‘struggle’ where you’ve yet to own and apply your power.

  19. Stop buying into your own bullshit and you’ll be just fine.

  20. One must abandon themselves in the attempt to fill through external means what can only be satisfied internally through learning how to not self-abandon in the first place.

  21. Once upon a time, I fed myself to a wolf. I knew he was a wolf. And I wanted to be devoured.

  22. Your willingness and capacity to suffer with and for another, is not love (for yourself or the other).

  23. You only need to ‘cope’ when you choose to leave home.

  24. Regardless of the ‘issue’, it’s about your relationship to power.

  25. You only feel the need to ‘escape’ when you’re existing unnaturally.

  26. Addiction is the perfect way to ineffectively manage the discomfort of your inner deviation.

  27. Your ‘issues’ are adaptations you created yourself, in lieu of being you.

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Mandy Bites On Narcissism

  1. Sometimes you’re their karma.

  2. It’s all your own (un)doing.

  3. The real ‘no contact’ is with the abuser in your head.

  4. To blame the ‘narcissist’ for ‘manipulating’ you into ignoring that initial gut feeling and your brilliant inner knowing is absolutely absurd.

  5. True ‘justice’ is reclaiming your power from everything and everyone you gave it to.

  6. You lied to yourself before (and more than) they ever lied to you.

  7. The nightmare grants you access to the dream that was always there.

  8. The war, the hell was (already) within. Perfectly out-pictured through ‘abuse’.

  9. You’re ‘trauma-bonded’ to you; not them.

  10. If you weren’t trying to outsource from another what you can only provide for yourself, you would not have ended up in something that hurts you.

  11. You weren’t deceived. You knew. And chose to believe something else.

  12. You demonize another to justify your perpetually ignored NO.

  13. It was never about them. And what they did or didn’t do was never about you, either.

  14. The 'narcissist' and his so-called 'prey' are equally sick and addicted.

  15. Going ‘no contact’ does nothing if you’re still energetically bound.

  16. Once upon a time, I fed myself to a wolf. I knew he was a wolf. And I wanted to be devoured.

  17. What's a little more poison when you're already sick?

  18. Everything that surfaced through your dance with the ‘narcissist’ was there long before you two met.

  19. No one has the power to pull you into the lower, let alone keep you there.

  20. When someone is free, they appear narcissistic to those still bound by themselves.

  21. Being with someone ugly steals your pretty. I’m not talking about looks. But those go, too.

  22. Why are you mad at them for your choice to betray yourself?

  23. You only point at others when you’ve turned against yourself.

  24. It’s not: “Why are they like that?” It’s: “Why am I with that?”

  25. “WhY iS tHiS pErSoN wHo sHoWeD mE riGhT fRoM tHe sTaRt tHaT tHeY aiN’t riGhT iN tHe hEaD… nOt aCtiNg riGhT?”

  26. Avoiding ‘toxic’ people isn’t the solution (or even possible). Becoming clean yourself is.

  27. The next one won’t be better. The same work will meet you there, too.

  28. From the outside, it looked insane. And to my human, it felt like hell. But obliteration was what I was after. Why else would I have danced right there?

  29. It stops when you do.

  30. Waking up shatters every fantasy.

  31. Why manage something you shouldn’t be fucking with at all?

  32. The ‘narcissist’ isn’t the villain. They simply exposed you to you.

  33. The ‘narcissist’ doesn’t need to change. You do.

  34. The ‘narcissist’ is only the symptom. The actual problem is you.

  35. The ‘narcissist’ treats you as poorly as you’ve been treating yourself.

  36. The ‘narcissist’ shows you precisely where you’ve yet to stand your power.

  37. The ‘narcissist’ is the inversion of truth.

  38. The ‘narcissist’ IS the lie. So every deception is a function of that.

  39. The ‘narcissist’ sticks around until you stop blaming another for what you’re doing to yourself.

  40. The ‘narcissist’ doesn’t hold any real power to derail you or your life. You’ve been doing that all by yourself through your choice to yield to them.

  41. The ‘narcissist’ lies to themself more than they ever lie to you.

  42. The ‘narcissist’ is just as surprised as you are that you keep taking it.

  43. The devil will never announce his arrival. Your system always will.

  44. Don’t play games with those who play dirty.

  45. Ignore the words. Feel what’s true.

  46. Hearts don’t break. Attachments do.

  47. Break ups don’t break what needs breaking.

  48. You question it because it’s not IT.

  49. Your willingness and capacity to suffer with and for another is not love (for yourself or the other).

  50. Do the work within the current dynamic.

  51. When you’ve actually had enough of it, you won’t have to try. It will just be done.

  52. Why would you need to forgive? What happened wasn’t wrong. Nor was it about you.

  53. Regardless of the ‘issue’, it’s about your relationship to power.

  54. If you can’t see the absolute perfection behind a ‘bad’ experience, even the ‘worst’ experience of your life, then you haven’t gone deep enough. You haven’t extracted your gold.

  55. Why would you put the mentally ill (human) in charge of your life?

  56. No need to show them the door. They’ll escort themselves out naturally, the closer you stay to you.

  57. The other’s moves are what you point to and use, to justify your inability to harness your power.

  58. If the pain runs deep, the power does, too. Most fear the latter, so they settle on the former.

  59. You get what you say yes to. And all the shit that brings.

  60. If you only have it because you’re holding on, you don’t have it. It has you.

  61. Most would rather have another cater / adapt to their dysfunction(s) and delusion(s) than to do the work necessary to correct it themselves. #fillinthegapsifyouloveme

  62. It hurts so you can learn how to not do that shit that hurts you.

  63. What you’ve yet to own, owns you.

  64. It’s no one’s job to keep you stable. It’s your job to contend with your own instability.

  65. What felt tragic becomes comedic once you actually see through it.

  66. You are the engine that keeps the dysfunctional train going.

  67. Exposure is love (mis)perceived as a threat.

  68. They didn’t (and can’t) hide who they are. It was (and is) in plain view.

  69. Let a ‘thank you’ follow the ‘fuck you’.

  70. Revoke access.

  71. You determine the price of admission.

  72. It’s not ‘victim’ blaming. It’s adult responsibility-taking.

  73. You can’t reason with insanity.

  74. The more you self-abandon, the more symptomatic you become.

  75. “They need to be held accountable.” Actually, they don’t.

  76. Once you hold yourself accountable, you won’t demand that of another.

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Stop Feeding It (An Essay)

You starve it by not feeding it.

Inwardly, that’s what you do.

“The ignored guest quickly leaves.”

So give it no reason to stay.

You can entertain the chaos.

The insanity.

The mind.

Go into the depths of hell.

Then post about your dark night.

Tell others about that ‘necessary’ initiation.

That ‘generational trauma’ that ‘lives in your bones’.

Be commended on your strength for ‘facing the beast’.

(For enduring yourself at the hands of yourself and calling it by another name)

Sure, you can do that.

But you could also not.

You feed the pain because you get off on it.

When you’re done getting off,

it’s gone.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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The Denser It Gets (An Essay)

when you perpetually self-abandon

the denser it gets

and when you do this over an extended period of time

that density

that was once only energetic

becomes matter

becomes ‘illness’ (both mental and physical)

because your system was not designed for such a deviation

it was designed to let you know all you need to know

to remain clean and intact

forevermore

so when you choose to ignore that knowing

over and over and over again

your brilliant system will turn up the volume until it can’t be ignored

until you have no choice but to honour what you know and have always known

(you ALWAYS know)

so even your ‘sickness’ (both mental and physical)

is still your system being brilliant as fuck

it never fails you

even when you ‘fail’ (deny) yourself

it speaks to you

for as long as it takes

until you finally listen

and choose to obey

and once you do

the ‘sickness’ dissolves

because it only arose

to point the way home

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If You Really Love Me (An Essay)

Most would rather have another cater / adapt to their dysfunction(s) / delusion(s) than to do the work necessary to correct it themselves.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

And most would rather do that for another to avoid their own discomfort in taking that same responsibility for themselves.

#letsstaysmalltogether

#fillinthegapsifyouloveme

#thatswhattheycalllove

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Rise Up (An Essay)

When you look to another to give you something you’re refusing to give yourself,

what they offer will never hit the spot.

It’s yours to cultivate.

Not theirs to give.

And in your frustration of not getting what you think you want and need from someone else,

you point to them for not rising up adequately.

But it was you who did not rise up.

Hence your search for someone who would.

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Obliteration Dance (An Essay)

I chose him precisely because of the density.

The grit.

For the perceived dysfunction that would highlight my own so I could erect what had long been limp.

I used him to purify myself.

To be stripped even further.

To stay until nothing was left.

From the outside, it looked insane.

And to my human, it felt like hell.

But obliteration was what I was after.

Why else would I have danced right there.

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Beyond Coping (One Minute Clip)

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