Essays

Relationships Never End (An Essay)

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Yes, the unimaginable happens when you choose to remain close to YOU.

And…

The unimaginable doesn’t only apply to things you perceive as ‘positive’.

One of the most unexpected, yet perfectly orchestrated and accurate things to happen in my world this year was the ‘ending’ of a beautiful 15 year friendship back in March.

‘Ending’ because there’s no such thing.

The current configuration of any ‘relationship’ (another ‘thing’ that doesn’t ultimately exist) is just that: the current configuration.

Which can shift in an instant, as we all know.

Which is why it’s kinda silly to judge and measure things based on appearances because things in the physical are always changing.

And…

They are simultaneously always energetically accurate.

And…

If you’re energetically intact, your system doesn’t shift at all regardless of what shifts around you.

So is it a ‘loss’ of a friendship?

No.

It’s the current truth being played out as lack of contact in the physical.

For now.

Maybe forever.

But no less perfect and no less true than the 15 years of contact preceding it.

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The Sobering Void (An Essay)

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When I shared this Mandy Bite on Facebook:

“The more you see through, the less interest you have in what you see.”

A hottie commented on said post.

“And then what? I feel this in my soul.”

And then…

You let there be nothing of interest to you.

The more you’ve yet to touch will come directly from that.

The more you’ll never touch if you’re scared back to what’s not true.

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The Refusal To Stay Where It's False (An Essay)

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my NO with him only adds to the turn on

without that being my incentive to honour it

all i know in a moment is not this

what he does with that is not my business

not my ‘problem’

not a consideration at all

and yet

what he’s done with each zig and zag of me

has been heavenly

so dreamy

and

as i continue to ride each edge

making the entrance point more narrow

more pristine for the god in me

what awaits me on the other side of that perpetual sharpening

is the more that can’t be tasted

the more that can’t be felt

were i to choose to just deny myself

and abandon what is true

and it’s that whittling down to nothing

that refusal to stay where it’s false

that devotion to truth in each moment

(no matter what happens as a result)

that creates a vortex for the ALL

the ALL that can’t be named

the ALL beyond my wildest dreams

the ALL that’s sourced from NO

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Dripping Like Honey (An Essay)

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he joked that i’m grooming him to be my submissive

which i loved

because although i’m not doing anything but being me

free of an agenda

and no requirements of another

(just a fine attunement to what turns me on and an unwillingness to play elsewhere)

the natural consequence of that for someone who is open to

and turned on by

my natural way of being

is submission (my heaven)

which feels as delicious to my system as it does to theirs

and…

from the very first scene

i was dripping like honey

from the energy of us

it was potent and true

it was pure and uncontrived

the most erotic dance in the world

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Sex vs SEX (An Essay)

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in the middle of the night

he and i had a lovely conversation about sex

and not surprisingly

based on how we met and how things are unfolding

we share a similar view on play

sex (penetration) for the sake of sex

hits no true spot

but the experience of SEX

that has no beginning, no middle, no end

that may or may not include penetration

that may or may not include touch or a release

that is not marked separate from a ‘non-sex’ event

(because it’s alllll SEX, baby)

that is where the magic is

that is what arouses more than a particular position or body type

than a pre-determined set of preferences

than a vibe of ‘this worked on her last time so i’ll just do that again’

because SEX is a dance in the NOW

(Peep the Mandy Bite)

so you can’t bring a (past) thing with you

nor can you aim for something else

you must make each move from exactly where you are

without leaving where it’s fresh and alive and new

without ever leaving YOU

because true SEX is beyond the physical

the body is just the vessel through which you play

endlessly

truthfully

fluidly

to more

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Ride and Die (An Essay)

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“What a fucking RIDE. Playing with you is unlike anything out there. Potent. Immediate. Not for the faint of heart.”

Last night’s treat in my inbox.

My spot always gets hit when I’m playing with a fellow rider.

Because fellow riders are the only ones who viscerally get what I’m throwin’ down.

I am of no use to those who want safety, time, solutions, support.

Those who are still looking to me or to others for more content to consume.

For something or someone else to attach to, to believe in, to become a superfan of.

My types are the ones who simply want to play with what’s alive right now, regardless of what does or doesn’t happen.

When you’re ready for THAT thrill,

let’s ride.

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Aim Directly And You'll Miss (An Essay)

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it’s not about going after the money or the person or any thing directly

there’s no real power in an outsourced move

because when you focus on the moveable

the changeable

the malleable (illusory) thing

it prevents you from doing the only thing

that has the power to move ALL things

(keeping the focus on YOU, with each and every move)

but when you make your move

because it’s true

regardless of the money or the other

you ‘get’ who and what is made for you

you always get what’s true

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You're Not Doing The Damn Thing (An Essay)

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Announcing that you’re going to do it isn’t doing it.

Holding off until an unspecified ‘future’ point in time to do it isn’t doing it.

Inching closer isn’t doing it.

Doing it only under a pre-determined (safe) set of conditions (aka plopping it into a cute little container where you feel protected and the true edge can be minimized, softened or skipped altogether) isn’t doing it.

That’s avoidance.

It’s testing the waters because you’re still afraid to jump without something in place to cushion the fall which prevents the actual free fall that your being truly craves.

It’s the perfect delay tactic.

Making sure that the time is still not now to do the thing you know is true as you do the exact same thing you’ve been doing all along.

Staying safe and calling it by another name.

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Their Wack Vibe Doesn't Justify Yours (An Essay)

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Another person’s wack vibe or move doesn’t justify or have anything to do with your own wack vibe or move that you misperceive is ‘because of’ or ‘in response to’ their supposed wackiness.

Your shit is YOUR shit.

Your vibe is YOUR vibe.

Your move is YOUR move.

No matter who or what you think is influencing it.

Deferring to the external or to another is a choice.

Elevating another above yourself is a choice.

Trusting another over yourself is a choice.

Not making your true move right now because of whatever the fuck you think matters more than that, is a choice.

There are no victims here.

You are fully responsible for taking care of your own side of the court.

Always.

And blaming another / using them as your excuse for your decision to abandon yourself, ain’t the vibe.

Owning that you left home and returning to where you belong, IS.

(Although we’re never not HOME; except through misperception)

You don’t even need to take your transgression up with the other (unless that’s the true move) because it was never about the other in the first place.

You did that all on your own.

You were given a perfect opportunity to choose truth, to choose YOU, regardless of who or what was in front of you, and it felt safer / easier / more acceptable / less vomit-inducing not to, so you didn’t.

So what.

Choose again.

That was then and you’re here now.

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Your Being Discerns Only This (An Essay)

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your being can’t discern between people

between situations

between actions

nor does it exist in ‘time’

your being can only distinguish and respond to the current vibe (quality of energy)

in each person

in each situation

in each action

right now

and that energy can shift in an instant

which is why

in the land of energetics

nothing is personal

or permanent

because all things are equal

no matter how it appears

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The Perfect Configuration (An Essay)

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you are

have always been

and always will be

in the perfect configuration

and

it is your misplaced desire

to be elsewhere

to have things

yourself

and others

be anything other than what they / you are

that perpetuates the illusion that something is wrong

that something needs fixing

which you would know is not the case

if you just stayed HOME

in the only place that’s true

while all that’s here for you

keeps landing at your feet

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Your Next Move Pops Through (An Essay)

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You don’t need to figure out what’s next.

Life tells you.

Your being tells you.

So just go where you’re led like you’ve been doing all along.

The ‘next’ organic / inevitable direction will naturally bubble up through living in the current configuration.

As it always has.

As it always will.

Nothing to aim for.

Plan for.

Create in your mind.

What is custom-made for you just can’t help but pop through.

As you seamlessly move from one scene to the next.

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