Human Dynamics
even with a new lover
the zero point is what i’m after
it’s:
can you meet me here
in the place where i reside
when i offer no bridge
when everything false is denied
and…
(not) surprisingly,
he can
because he’s empty
present
open
true
the most beautiful canvas
to create something new
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It’s no one’s job to keep you stable.
It’s your job to contend with your instability.
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it’s not about going after the money or the person or any thing directly
there’s no real power in an outsourced move
because when you focus on the moveable
the changeable
the malleable (illusory) thing
it prevents you from doing the only thing
that has the power to move ALL things
(keeping the focus on YOU, with each and every move)
but when you make your move
because it’s true
regardless of the money or the other
you ‘get’ who and what is made for you
you always get what’s true
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Announcing that you’re going to do it isn’t doing it.
Holding off until an unspecified ‘future’ point in time to do it isn’t doing it.
Inching closer isn’t doing it.
Doing it only under a pre-determined (safe) set of conditions (aka plopping it into a cute little container where you feel protected and the true edge can be minimized, softened or skipped altogether) isn’t doing it.
That’s avoidance.
It’s testing the waters because you’re still afraid to jump without something in place to cushion the fall which prevents the actual free fall that your being truly craves.
It’s the perfect delay tactic.
Making sure that the time is still not now to do the thing you know is true as you do the exact same thing you’ve been doing all along.
Staying safe and calling it by another name.
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Another person’s wack vibe or move doesn’t justify or have anything to do with your own wack vibe or move that you misperceive is ‘because of’ or ‘in response to’ their supposed wackiness.
Your shit is YOUR shit.
Your vibe is YOUR vibe.
Your move is YOUR move.
No matter who or what you think is influencing it.
Deferring to the external or to another is a choice.
Elevating another above yourself is a choice.
Trusting another over yourself is a choice.
Not making your true move right now because of whatever the fuck you think matters more than that, is a choice.
There are no victims here.
You are fully responsible for taking care of your own side of the court.
Always.
And blaming another / using them as your excuse for your decision to abandon yourself, ain’t the vibe.
Owning that you left home and returning to where you belong, IS.
(Although we’re never not HOME; except through misperception)
You don’t even need to take your transgression up with the other (unless that’s the true move) because it was never about the other in the first place.
You did that all on your own.
You were given a perfect opportunity to choose truth, to choose YOU, regardless of who or what was in front of you, and it felt safer / easier / more acceptable / less vomit-inducing not to, so you didn’t.
So what.
Choose again.
That was then and you’re here now.
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your being can’t discern between people
between situations
between actions
nor does it exist in ‘time’
your being can only distinguish and respond to the current vibe (quality of energy)
in each person
in each situation
in each action
right now
and that energy can shift in an instant
which is why
in the land of energetics
nothing is personal
or permanent
because all things are equal
no matter how it appears
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you are
have always been
and always will be
in the perfect configuration
and
it is your misplaced desire
to be elsewhere
to have things
yourself
and others
be anything other than what they / you are
that perpetuates the illusion that something is wrong
that something needs fixing
which you would know is not the case
if you just stayed HOME
in the only place that’s true
while all that’s here for you
keeps landing at your feet
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No one loses from your NO.
What they get is what’s most true.
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unless and until a move is crisp and clean
stripped of a reaction
an agenda
or another person in mind
stripped of the need (and all the words)
to explain
to justify
to prove
to get
to build a bridge where none is required
to soften or avoid the razor’s edge of truth
until you reach that specific point
the zero point
where nothing matters at all
the power and impact of that move is diluted and effectively made limp
turning it into yet another messy bit amongst other messy bits
blending in
not standing out
so what’s the fucking point?
that trying-but-not-hitting-the-spot move
that tainted / muddy / laced-with-matter move
that spilling-over-because-you-have-collapsed move
won’t do a damn thing except keep that mess in place
because a weak and sloppy move is not sharp enough
it’s not potent enough
and it certainly can’t be felt deeply enough
to rattle
to collapse
to erect what needs erecting
it can’t pierce the veil
like a clean move can
a move that’s made
because it’s true
not for anyone
or anything
else
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it doesn’t matter why
a NO is a NO
or who or what it involves
the NO is to the energy
and energy never lies
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You can feel when something is true and when it’s laced with something false.
If there is hesitation, confusion, muddiness, defensiveness…
a reaction to something or someone instead of a stand alone work of art…
there’s some cleaning up to do.
On your end.
Not theirs.
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True Dominance and Submission is about the energetic tension that can only come from a deeply powerful state.
And since most can’t generate, hold, or withstand such a thing,
they use force, rules, rituals and tools
to (over) compensate.
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there is a zero point
in every moment
in every situation
in every person
in every thing
and when you reach that still point
the cleanest point there is
it clears every board you’re playing
without you touching a thing
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if it was easy to truly be yourself
to move as freely and as naturally as you did when you were a child
before a lifetime of conditioning determined your moves
then everyone would be doing it
but they’re not
because it actually takes effort to live in integrity
which is crazy because it takes no effort to be yourself
it’s the most natural thing in the world
but to contend with all the illusory add ons you created along the way in lieu of being you
while in a family and in a world you chose to shrink yourself for
THAT is the hardest work there is
until
of course
it’s not
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when there is smudge on the eyes
a distorted lens that discolours everything
one cannot see themselves
situations
or others
as they truly are
and…
in order to cope with that misperception of self
of the illusory other
of what is actually going on
(and the discomfort that arises from a truth one cannot own)
one projects what’s false
and deflects what’s true
effectively ‘protecting’ the illusion
while convinced it’s truth
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It’s always the most tender
where you hold the most matter.
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In a call the other day, the fellow was talking about not having a purpose aka a made-up concept to attach himself to.
You know, to give himself / his life some direction, some meaning, some much needed motivation.
Something he can create an identity around.
Something to make him feel more ‘like a man’.
Because being exactly who he is and following his natural movements on the daily isn’t enough.
There needs to be an add on.
Something quantifiable.
Something more / other than this.
I told him I don’t have a purpose.
He said it’s different for men.
I found that amusing.
Mostly because he just put us both in a separate category based solely on physicality (ignoring the energy aka the truth which would completely disprove his point if we really were talking about the masculine and feminine) to explain why I’m fine not having a purpose and he’s not.
It’s not because I’m a woman.
It’s because I’m not attached to bullshit.
Regardless of gender, regardless of conditioning based on gender, an illusion is still an illusion.
Purpose (or lack of), like self-worth (or lack of), like value (or lack of), like countless other things that aren’t actually real, is just a human-made concept to attach to and create a story around.
Something to hold on to, to point to as the reason you feel the way you do, or do the things you do you think you should do.
Something to avoid being the living truth.
Which comes with no labels.
No terms.
No concepts.
No thing.
Your ‘purpose’ is to BE yourself,
unobstructed,
if there had to be a thing.
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It's not: "How do I get the clients / make the money / overcome the addiction / heal the pain / resolve this health and / or relationship 'issue'?"
It's: "When will I stop saying YES to a NO? When will I stop supressing what's true? When will I make being the living truth my full-time job regardless of who or what is in front of me?"
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Why manage something you shouldn’t be fucking with at all?
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