Human Dynamics

The Whole Thing Is Like A Movie (An Essay)

in , , , , , , , ,

“The whole thing is like a movie.”

Him, last night, after our last few hours together before he leaves for a month.

When I tell him or others that he’s my favourite human, it’s because he is the purest.

Meaning, he has less shit in the way than anyone I’ve ever played with romantically.

Every being is pure, of course.

But most humans are drenched in matter.

Drowning in the abyss.

Overflowing with insanity.

Hard to reach from where it counts.

But not him.

Our experience is so light.

So empty.

Full of space and filled with life.

And the lived experience of that is a deep sense of calm and peace - one’s natural state.

Which creates an effortless, seamless, extraordinary dance.

A dream within a glorious dream.

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

The Players Are Interchangeable (An Essay)

in , , , , , , ,

Even as I write about men,

it’s not about them.

How could it be?

They’re my very own creation.

Birthed from the core of me.

And the quality of my experience with them (or anything else in my life) is never about, or dependent upon, them or another.

The dynamic is impersonal.

The players are interchangeable.

Because it’s all just energy, baby.

Who and what’s being presented as I play my own game is never about the specific person or thing.

They’re just the vessels through which I explore Mandyland.

The playground that has no rules.

And every single piece,

I’ve orchestrated for myself.

Brilliantly.

Effortlessly.

Whether I like what I see or not.

I’m curating all of it - no exceptions - to sharpen the blade of me.

Which is why even in the midst of this beauty,

I’m not attached to any of it.

I don’t ‘hope’ it continues.

I don’t believe this is as good as it gets.

Because I know that the energetic quality,

the purity of me and all that I create,

is increasing constantly.

Exponentially.

There’s always more for me.

And I know that all I ever have to do is be Mandy,

just Mandy,

for life to shape itself beautifully,

seamlessly,

around,

within,

and through me.

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

Devoted To Truth; Not Another (An Essay)

in , , , , , ,

I’m sure I’ll be what’s considered ‘single’ for the rest of my life.

I’m not made to be in what most would view as a ‘relationship’, no matter what I’m experiencing with another (or others).

How could I ‘commit’ to a fellow human (insane).

To anything of this world.

My devotion is to my own evolution.

And to the truth of the moment I’m in.

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

It Needed To Be Broken (An Essay)

in , , , , , , ,

Kristen: “Will it break him if you don’t see him again?”

Me: “I don’t care. I don’t think of it. I just go scene to scene.”

I know how my detachment appears.

But attachment isn’t natural to the being.

It’s lodged in a story of some sort.

Meaning.

Matter.

Past.

Another.

It’s not that I don’t care about other people or what they go through.

It’s that I don’t care how their human is affected by me being Mandy.

I don’t take another into account when I make my moves.

Why would someone else have anything to do with what I know I must do?

Shall I factor in everyone I know and the world at large while I’m at it?

Give me a fucking break.

If something breaks, then good.

It clearly needed to be broken.

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

He Moves With Me Seamlessly (An Essay)

in , , , , , , , ,

He reminds me of a Leonard Cohen quote.

“You go your way. I’ll go your way, too.”

He moves with me seamlessly.

Effortlessly.

With nothing in between.

A dance so quiet, so tender, so natural, so close.

So light.

So pure.

So empty.

So free.

Little is spoken.

Yet everything is said.

“Mine.”

“Yours.”

Here we are.

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

Relationships Never End (An Essay)

in , , ,

Yes, the unimaginable happens when you choose to remain close to YOU.

And…

The unimaginable doesn’t only apply to things you perceive as ‘positive’.

One of the most unexpected, yet perfectly orchestrated and accurate things to happen in my world this year was the ‘ending’ of a beautiful 15 year friendship back in March.

‘Ending’ because there’s no such thing.

The current configuration of any ‘relationship’ (another ‘thing’ that doesn’t ultimately exist) is just that: the current configuration.

Which can shift in an instant, as we all know.

Which is why it’s kinda silly to judge and measure things based on appearances because things in the physical are always changing.

And…

They are simultaneously always energetically accurate.

And…

If you’re energetically intact, your system doesn’t shift at all regardless of what shifts around you.

So is it a ‘loss’ of a friendship?

No.

It’s the current truth being played out as lack of contact in the physical.

For now.

Maybe forever.

But no less perfect and no less true than the 15 years of contact preceding it.

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

The Refusal To Stay Where It's False (An Essay)

in , , , , , , , , , ,

my NO with him only adds to the turn on

without that being my incentive to honour it

all i know in a moment is not this

what he does with that is not my business

not my ‘problem’

not a consideration at all

and yet

what he’s done with each zig and zag of me

has been heavenly

so dreamy

and

as i continue to ride each edge

making the entrance point more narrow

more pristine for the god in me

what awaits me on the other side of that perpetual sharpening

is the more that can’t be tasted

the more that can’t be felt

were i to choose to just deny myself

and abandon what is true

and it’s that whittling down to nothing

that refusal to stay where it’s false

that devotion to truth in each moment

(no matter what happens as a result)

that creates a vortex for the ALL

the ALL that can’t be named

the ALL beyond my wildest dreams

the ALL that’s sourced from NO

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe