Pain

Sanna On Anger (A Transcript)

in , , , , , , , , , ,

From one of Sanna’s lives:

▽

I don’t get angry.

But that’s because I actually trust my No.

An emotion like anger, like frustration, comes because you’ve overextended your No.

You’ve surrendered even though you’ve known that the thing is a No.

And the longer you surrender after sensing that something is a No, the more unstable your energy becomes, and eventually you get angry or frustrated.

But for me it doesn’t come to that.

Because as soon as something is a No, I say No.

△

watch the full video (57:43)

Peep The Sanna Collection

▽

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

Obliteration Dance (An Essay)

in , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I chose him precisely because of the density.

The grit.

For the perceived dysfunction that would highlight my own so I could erect what had long been limp.

I used him to purify myself.

To be stripped even further.

To stay until nothing was left.

From the outside, it looked insane.

And to my human, it felt like hell.

But obliteration was what I was after.

Why else would I have danced right there.

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

Beyond Coping (One Minute Clip)

in , , , , ,

Watch the captioned video above or listen to the downloadable link below.

Mandyland Radio is on Spotify, SoundCloud, iTunes, iHeartRadio, TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube and most other streaming platforms.

Book a private call to be fully exposed and beautifully destroyed.

Explore the Mandyland Radio Archives (from 2010 to now).

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

Beyond Your Identity (An Essay)

in , , , ,

the things you identify with

or (mis)perceive yourself to be

your past

your pain

your story

your race

your age

your body

your gender and orientation

your role as this

your status as that

your (fill in the blank) that matters so much

all of these things

at the deepest level

are not who you actually are

and the more strongly you identify with whatever it is

and get heated as you protest for or against it

or heaven forbid

attempt to protect it

(because who would you be without ‘it’)

the further you are

from the ultimate truth

hence your need to identify

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

Deviating From What's Natural (An Essay)

in , , , , , , ,

When you’ve deviated from the truth and natural movements of your being (a complete betrayal to your system), the only way to live with that internal split is to distract yourself with self-created 'issues’ that would not exist (and ultimately don't) had you remained in your power (your natural state) in the first place.

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe

The Helliest Hell There Is (An Essay)

in , , , , , , ,

Living inside a NO is one of the helliest hells there is.

It’s a complete mindfuck.

It ensures you’ll continually be, and quite unsuccessfully, managing the content of the experience that you (often regrettably) said yes to, instead of enjoying the magic that’s delivered on the other side of each very exacting and undeniably brilliant NO.

It ensures that the experience you weren’t ever meant to be part of in the first place (cuz your NO fucking told you so), gets messier, uglier, louder and even more distorted and impossible to ‘resolve’, the longer you stay beyond said NO.

And until you recognize and own your original transgression (as well as each subsequent one), you’ll mistakenly point to the other (and what they are or aren’t being or doing), or to the situation itself (and all the ways it fucking blows) for why you’re so unhappy in the experience that YOU said yes to while knowing it was a NO.

You might even feel and begin to act like a victim of circumstance, and you can undoubtedly rally others to support this false narrative, but you knew from the start and you still chose to go so where is the victim in that?

It’s just easier to defer your power and call it by another name than to own it and tell it like it is.

It’s easier to blame your past for what you’re choosing and experiencing in the present than to do what needs to be done.

It’s easier to say yes ‘for’ or ‘because of’ this or that, rather than to honour that exquisite NO and take the imagined risk that such a bold move brings, without knowing why this just isn’t IT.

But you’ll learn soon enough.

You’ll inevitably discover firsthand why your system warned you against what you’re now in the midst of enduring, and are currently, often repeatedly, trying to extract yourself from.

And it’s perfect.

It was unavoidable.

And it’s all by your own design.

Because if you were seasoned enough to not do that wonky thing you do (ignoring what you know), you wouldn’t create these experiences for yourself to learn how not to get to the point where you’re at right now.

So you can’t lose regardless of how lost you feel or what you perceive you’ve lost through each ordeal, because each one effectively shows you where you veered off, and one day you just won’t.

△

collections · let’s play · shop · tip · subscribe