Uncluttered
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If you’re not purifying and mastering yourself,
what the hell are you even doing?
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Let there be nothing.
It's the breeding ground for more.
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Speed.
Power.
Potency.
Precision.
When we join forces,
I won’t offer tools or processes.
We won’t work on mindset or strategy.
We won’t scour your past for a link to the present.
And you won’t learn how to manage a thing.
Truth requires absolutely no-thing.
It’s time to play a new kind of game.
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If there’s nothing left, I’m out.
If there’s no thing at all, I’m in.
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I go where it’s the loudest,
just to make it quiet.
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The thing about being energetically erect and intact (one’s natural state), and not playing (making moves) unless and until it’s still, is that it perfectly fucks with whatever matter I’m currently holding on to.
The exact shit that’s here to be burned by the fire of ME.
It also perfectly fucks with the shit of whoever I’m playing with.
If there are any strings of attachment (hoping / waiting / needing / trying / expecting / victimizing / or whatever other bullshit that needs to go), I don’t touch it.
Because it’s an energetic turn off.
But if I feel turned on despite and because of the matter, it means that the shit is ready to get fucked up and I’m the bitch to do it.
Ultimately though, I play where it’s clear.
Where I sense no limits, no restrictions, no actual end in sight.
Just a wide open space to dive into unobstructed.
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My experience of love is contingent upon what’s stripped away;
not on what’s added up.
The amount of time.
The layers of meaning.
The stories that are amassed.
Nah.
Seeing through lies.
The stories that die.
The dissolution of matter and meaning.
Accumulation doesn’t impress or interest me.
I prefer things light; not heavy.
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It takes so little to play with me.
But most are filled with so much.
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It’s not true that once you clear the matter, you automatically get the thing.
You clear the matter and see that it was never about the thing in the first place.
You clear the matter and know you’ll be good with or without this thing (or any other thing you misperceive you need / ‘deserve’ / are entitled to) because there’s no longer any weight attached to it.
And…
Sure you might get the thing.
In spades.
Or something else entirely.
Beyond what you could have imagined.
But only IF / when / how it’s true for your being.
Something you can’t control.
Ultimately, you’re always getting exactly what’s true for you anyways.
Like clockwork every step of the way.
Regardless AND because of the matter.
Which means that matter can’t stop you from getting what’s yours
because you’re never not getting precisely that.
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As of late, I’ve been floating further away from form.
And last night it became clear that the platform / vehicle through which I was intending to showcase my upcoming collection, was no longer a fit.
Any sense of restriction,
containment,
management,
anything based on time…
any reliance on another or a thing in any way…
feels too dense / too heavy / too cluttered for me.
I need things as light and seamless and Mandy as can be.
And…
I’ve created so much art and beauty this year.
So much went on behind the scenes.
So much that’s been waiting for the perfect home.
I can’t wait to bring you up to speed.
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from the depths
from the silence
from the world
beyond this one
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“The whole thing is like a movie.”
Him, last night, after our last few hours together before he leaves for a month.
When I tell him or others that he’s my favourite human, it’s because he is the purest.
Meaning, he has less shit in the way than anyone I’ve ever played with romantically.
Every being is pure, of course.
But most humans are drenched in matter.
Drowning in the abyss.
Overflowing with insanity.
Hard to reach from where it counts.
But not him.
Our experience is so light.
So empty.
Full of space and filled with life.
And the lived experience of that is a deep sense of calm and peace - one’s natural state.
Which creates an effortless, seamless, extraordinary dance.
A dream within a glorious dream.
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Getting unjammed where it’s been the most jammed, unjams you everywhere else.
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You do it from the ground up.
From the inside out.
Not from the top down.
From the outside in.
You get to the zero point.
The purest point.
And create the MORE from there.
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It’s the empty vessel I’m after.
Limitless.
Bottomless.
Free of all constraints.
Willing to destroy himself,
so he can meet me here.
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