Human Dynamics

The Chasm Between He And I (An Essay)

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The chasm between he and I is immense.

Always has been.

Except, of course, when it’s not.

The only thing that has and could ever bridge that incredible divide is pure presence.

No self.

Those rare and delicious moments that he’s described as unimaginable, when both of us are simultaneously present AND absent.

This or nothing.

AND

This because there’s nothing.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

Which is why it’s futile to ‘work on’ the so-called relationship.

The only work is HERE; not there.

#remainempty

Within me; not with him.

(he is not my business)

I don’t care about bridging our divide.

I care about bridging my own.

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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The Powerless Departure (An Essay)

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Over the past few months, I’ve had some very close to me humans attempt to ‘end’ our relationship.

(‘Attempt’ because there’s no such thing as an ending)

Because they couldn’t figure out how to use me and our experience to erect themselves further.

So they collapsed (in Sanna speak) right out of my world (once again / for now / forever / who cares).

Except they didn’t actually leave.

And they didn’t achieve a thing.

Because there was zero power in their so-called ‘departure’.

They ‘left’ instead of saying or doing (and being) the truest thing,

the rawest thing,

that would shatter everything,

in themselves and in me.

Because that would require them to stand firm and fully in who they are.

But they were not ready.

So they ‘left’.

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Stay With The One Who Activates You (An Essay)

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You will never create something extraordinary with a partner who doesn’t activate your shit and doesn’t have shit that’s activated by being with you.

You can keep running from that reality with each person if you like, or actually stick with one and do the actual work required of you to face and deal with your shit as it comes up until that shit isn’t there anymore.

That way the dynamic reaches its natural and inevitable ‘end’ if it’s not really or no longer IT; not because you felt the need to throw it away prematurely just because you couldn’t handle yours or another’s shit.

I can assure you that whatever work you’re not willing to do with your current beau, you’re gonna have to do with the next one so getting rid of this one won’t ultimately solve a thing.

All of your shit won’t magically disappear.

And fair if you just want to ride solo for however long and not deal with another while you sort yourself out, or even just enjoy some superficial interactions that are less intense and activating along the way.

But it’s one thing to choose that for yourself because it’s true, and it’s another thing to avoid doing the real work with that choice.

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The Divide (An Essay)

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The (perceived) issues between you and another are never the actual issues.

It’s a lack of consciousness.

A lack of accountability.

A lack of integrity.

It’s ignoring what you know.

And that discord / divide shows up as those ‘issues’ because you are not yet in your power.

You aren’t saying or doing what needs to be said or done.

If you were, there’d be no ‘issues’.

Just truth.

The only thing that can set you free from those never-ending ‘issues’.

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Two For One (An Essay)

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I had a call with a hottie who I soon realized was nowhere close to being ready for a call with me.

She was committed to her stories.

She didn’t actually want to be free.

So I interrupted her mental masturbation by letting her know this isn’t the work I do and I ended the Zoom call.

She called me on Messenger a moment later.

And I had no problem picking up because ‘new moment, new everything’ in Mandyland.

I was happy to start again.

But she was still there; not here.

So I ended that call, too.

*sends a cheeky new invoice*

Because that is the work I do.

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Stuck Together (An Essay)

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if the only thing keeping you together is your unnatural attachment to one another

(and all attachment is unnatural)

made possible only through the sticky and accumulated shit you both have brought to the relationship table

things like your respective and shared pasts

your so-called traumas

your personal needs and desires

your ongoing focus on yourself and the other

then you’re not yet truly together

because of all that shit in the way

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