Breaking Boundaries

The Refusal To Stay Where It's False (An Essay)

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my NO with him only adds to the turn on

without that being my incentive to honour it

all i know in a moment is not this

what he does with that is not my business

not my ‘problem’

not a consideration at all

and yet

what he’s done with each zig and zag of me

has been heavenly

so dreamy

and

as i continue to ride each edge

making the entrance point more narrow

more pristine for the god in me

what awaits me on the other side of that perpetual sharpening

is the more that can’t be tasted

the more that can’t be felt

were i to choose to just deny myself

and abandon what is true

and it’s that whittling down to nothing

that refusal to stay where it’s false

that devotion to truth in each moment

(no matter what happens as a result)

that creates a vortex for the ALL

the ALL that can’t be named

the ALL beyond my wildest dreams

the ALL that’s sourced from NO

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Sex vs SEX (An Essay)

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in the middle of the night

he and i had a lovely conversation about sex

and not surprisingly

based on how we met and how things are unfolding

we share a similar view on play

sex (penetration) for the sake of sex

hits no true spot

but the experience of SEX

that has no beginning, no middle, no end

that may or may not include penetration

that may or may not include touch or a release

that is not marked separate from a ‘non-sex’ event

(because it’s alllll SEX, baby)

that is where the magic is

that is what arouses more than a particular position or body type

than a pre-determined set of preferences

than a vibe of ‘this worked on her last time so i’ll just do that again’

because SEX is a dance in the NOW

(Peep the Mandy Bite)

so you can’t bring a (past) thing with you

nor can you aim for something else

you must make each move from exactly where you are

without leaving where it’s fresh and alive and new

without ever leaving YOU

because true SEX is beyond the physical

the body is just the vessel through which you play

endlessly

truthfully

fluidly

to more

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Ride and Die (An Essay)

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“What a fucking RIDE. Playing with you is unlike anything out there. Potent. Immediate. Not for the faint of heart.”

Last night’s treat in my inbox.

My spot always gets hit when I’m playing with a fellow rider.

Because fellow riders are the only ones who viscerally get what I’m throwin’ down.

I am of no use to those who want safety, time, solutions, support.

Those who are still looking to me or to others for more content to consume.

For something or someone else to attach to, to believe in, to become a superfan of.

My types are the ones who simply want to play with what’s alive right now, regardless of what does or doesn’t happen.

When you’re ready for THAT thrill,

let’s ride.

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Aim Directly And You'll Miss (An Essay)

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it’s not about going after the money or the person or any thing directly

there’s no real power in an outsourced move

because when you focus on the moveable

the changeable

the malleable (illusory) thing

it prevents you from doing the only thing

that has the power to move ALL things

(keeping the focus on YOU, with each and every move)

but when you make your move

because it’s true

regardless of the money or the other

you ‘get’ who and what is made for you

you always get what’s true

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You're Not Doing The Damn Thing (An Essay)

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Announcing that you’re going to do it isn’t doing it.

Holding off until an unspecified ‘future’ point in time to do it isn’t doing it.

Inching closer isn’t doing it.

Doing it only under a pre-determined (safe) set of conditions (aka plopping it into a cute little container where you feel protected and the true edge can be minimized, softened or skipped altogether) isn’t doing it.

That’s avoidance.

It’s testing the waters because you’re still afraid to jump without something in place to cushion the fall which prevents the actual free fall that your being truly craves.

It’s the perfect delay tactic.

Making sure that the time is still not now to do the thing you know is true as you do the exact same thing you’ve been doing all along.

Staying safe and calling it by another name.

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Your Being Discerns Only This (An Essay)

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your being can’t discern between people

between situations

between actions

nor does it exist in ‘time’

your being can only distinguish and respond to the current vibe (quality of energy)

in each person

in each situation

in each action

right now

and that energy can shift in an instant

which is why

in the land of energetics

nothing is personal

or permanent

because all things are equal

no matter how it appears

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The Bullshit of High-End Coaching (An Essay)

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Last year a hottie made a comment to me about the low caliber of client that comes with charging low prices.

And she was really sold on this bullshit narrative because she was being charged, and was charging, a wild amount for ‘high-end’ coaching at the time.

Which in and of itself isn’t an issue.

I’m pointing to the idea that a certain price point yields a certain quality of person.

It doesn’t.

Energy leads.

Not money.

I worked with Sanna for a year and didn’t pay a dollar for it.

As if I was a low calibre client.

As if she wasn’t the best ‘mentor’ on the fucking planet despite not charging me a penny.

Nothing was reduced just because a dollar amount wasn’t attached and a dollar wasn’t exchanged.

But I digress.

A couple of weeks ago, the said hottie took me up on my $50 for 30 minute deal (a rare deal since I currently charge $750 USD for a 30 minute call).

I was delighted.

Obviously her narrative had changed, and we had a beautiful call unrelated to money.

Then last week, she asked to book a second call to talk specifically about money.

Because despite investing in and offering ‘high-end’ coaching, it hadn’t really panned out, her money was almost gone, and she was starting to freak the fuck out.

I asked how much remained.

The number was hella low.

And that number turned me on because of how low it was.

Because crunch time means truth time so let’s fucking GO.

Let’s get to the guts of what was avoided when she spent and made those big dollars while by-passing the absolute truth.

Because if the investment and the sales were sourced from that (meaning there was no matter whatsoever), she wouldn’t be freaked out by this low number and she wouldn’t fear what may or may not come from this point on.

She’d also see that the anxiety isn’t from a dwindling bank account at all.

It was always there.

Reliant on, and in response to, illusory external security (and lack thereof) since the internal still lacks the stability required to feel secure regardless of externals.

Now it’s just being highlighted.

Damn, I love the crunch.

Because despite appearances, the crunch doesn’t create anything that wasn’t already there.

It just just shows you exactly where you’re at.

What you’re REALLY working with.

And how easily you can be moved.

And that you still have work to do.

Because if you’ve been using money or another as the buffer between you and YOU, you’re gonna come face to face with that in the absence of the money or the other.

Good.

Now we’re actually getting somewhere.

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Don't Pay To Get Something (An Essay)

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In a call yesterday, the fella was talking about high ticket coaches and the idea that he needed to invest in them to make those big dollars himself.

I said there’s no A to B connection.

If you’re investing in someone to make money or to ‘get’ anything, it’s not a clean move.

Sure it can ‘work’ for a while.

You might land some big ass sales.

But as long as there’s an ulterior motive, those dollars are counterfeit aka not pure which means you’ll still end up exactly where you were until you’re ready to strip everything that led you to chasing the money in the first place.

The idea of paying someone for a future something you think you don’t already have, has got to go.

Pay someone because it feels hot as fuck to play with them.

That’s it.

Not for the thing.

Not for some illusory outcome you’re banking on to get your money’s worth.

Only for the experience you can’t get anywhere else with anyone else because your being just told you so.

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There Is No Final Frontier (An Essay)

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There is no last piece.

No final frontier.

No specific area(s) you need to work out once and for all and then you’ll be good to go for the rest of your life.

Nope.

The game has no end.

You’ll never be done.

And the work remains the same.

You’re just playing with matter and its inevitable dissolution.

Regardless of the content or density.

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Seeing Through The Public Persona (An Essay)

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You can swap the coach, the paradigm, the partner.

You can change the business, the lingo, and make big money.

You can lose the weight and hit a new personal record.

And STILL not shift energetically.

Just because you switched the box and the externals look different, it doesn’t mean a damn thing changed.

And just because others paint a superficial and strategically crafted picture of themselves publicly, doesn’t mean it’s the real thing, as you already know.

These days, when I read certain posts from those I once looked up to who are still selling the same flat experience (but now in a sparkly new package), those I thought had ‘made it’ and knew something I didn’t because I didn’t yet trust myself fully and I was reading their content (which sold me) instead of their energy (which speaks the actual truth),

I can now feel where they’re really at, regardless of what they’re saying.

And in all this time, nothing got cleaned up.

They never actually moved.

They simply added new words, new offers, and new price points from that same exact place.

Pretending something new has taken place, and maybe it has circumstantially, but energetically it’s stagnant as hell and wasn’t truly alive to begin with.

But back then I was sold on the external narrative.

My ravenous desire to find answers to my perceived dilemmas and relief from what ailed me, clouded my ability to discern between what was being presented in the physical and what was actually loud as fuck in the non-physical.

The cleaner I got, the easier it was for me to read between those lines.

To feel the truth beyond the words.

To know where someone’s actually at instead of where they’ve positioned themselves to be.

So I came to understand that some of the most celebrated and followed ‘teachers’ are the ones drowning in the most bullshit.

They’re energetic hot messes.

Which captivates and motivates those who are also drenched in matter.

They love the resonance.

The feeling of ‘same’.

I love the void.

The feeling of clean.

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