Breaking Boundaries

The Mandy Slap (An Essay)

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“Thank you for giving me a Mandy slap. It had to blow up. It had to collapse.”

I received this feedback yesterday from a hottie who had been spinning in circles forfuckingever.

Attempting to control what felt out of control for fear of what might happen if she just let go.

She said she had been doing this her whole life.

Talk about exhausting.

And talk about how much power she possesses if that much effort is required to suppress it.

When we chatted I didn’t mince my words.

Even though she was experiencing the rawest edge and pain.

A spot that most seek to soften for another.

Because it makes them uncomfortable.

Because they want to ‘help’.

Because they can’t see what’s really going on.

Because they actually believe the pain is real.

But the true being doesn’t experience pain.

The person who is out of touch with their true being, does.

(There’s more to this - for another time)

So I went right in.

To the eye of her storm.

Because I knew she was at her tipping point.

The hottest place to be.

Energetically, her system was BEGGING me to destroy that which appeared to be destroying her.

So I did.

By speaking directly to HER.

Not her.

And she collapsed on the spot.

Of course.

Then SHE began to erect.

Naturally.

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Riding The Edge of Money (An Essay)

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When a friend of mine found out what I charge for a call:

Him: “Now that’s charging what you’re worth.”

Me: “No. I charge what turns me on.”

Which can change at any time.

Higher.

Lower.

Free.

Irrelevant.

I don’t associate money to (perceived) worth or value (two illusory constructs).

I play with the tension of it.

I work my way up or down with the price and the details of a specific offer until I feel a tad nervous or even nauseous about it.

Like I’m about to jump off a cliff (because energetically I am), which is just how I like it.

If the number makes me feel like, “Holy fuck. I couldn’t possibly charge THAT for XYZ.”

…then THAT is the fucking number.

No question about it.

Because it requires me to cross the same energetic threshold that my client will need to cross in order to pay it.

A turn on for us both.

When I ride my own edge, a client will need to ride theirs as well if they want to play with me on said edge.

You see?

It’s never about the number.

And it’s not about charging the most (unless that’s the truth).

It’s about selecting the sharpest point of truth and turn on, which could change from one moment, one day, one offer or one client to the next.

So I’m not attached to the number.

The moment a number feels energetically limp, I’m playing with a new one.

The new true one.

Until the next true one.

So fun.

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Did You Forget You're In Charge? (An Essay)

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forgetting that you’re completely in charge of

and responsible for

yourself

your choices

and every piece of your life

inevitably leads to pain, suffering and feelings of (pick your poison):

powerlessness

victimhood

depression

dread

resignation

boredom

fear

anger

apathy

doubt

worry

anxiety

and even more unsavoury vibes

so you can live in that forgetfulness for life (most do)

or…

choose power

choose freedom

choose truth

choose you

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Distorted vs Clean Love (An Essay)

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If neither of you are in your power, it’s not pure, clean love because it’s based on illusion / need / dependency / standards / etc (aka distortions), and not on the truth of each moment / movement which can only be discerned and honoured from said place of power.

It’s a poor facsimile that doesn’t even come close to the level of intimacy experienced by two people who are truly living in integrity and are thereby (distortion/clutter) free to choose truth in every moment, regardless of the other.

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Why You Go Through Hell (An Essay)

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You can’t ignore, soften, repress or shrink who you are and live an exceptional life.

You can’t shape shift for the world each day and then wonder why you’re depressed, anxious, suicidal, bored or angry.

THAT'S WHY YOU EXPERIENCE THOSE THINGS.

That's your incredibly brilliant system telling you VERY FUCKING CLEARLY that what you think you need to do and who you think you need to be to exist in the world (and with others), is not the answer.

The answer is so fucking simple.

Be YOU. Full out.

Which is the hardest thing

(even if it’s the most natural thing)

for most people to do.

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The Stretch of Self-Abandonment (An Essay)

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You can feel when you leave yourself for another.

And when they leave themself for you.

The tainted stretch of self-abandonment is palpable.

It feels sticky and icky and gross and not right.

If the energy was a visual, you’d see how unnatural and misshapen it looks.

How unattractive it is.

And how messy and distorted things become when one chooses not to remain in their power.

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The Ultimatum (An Essay)

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Giving someone an ultimatum (an attempt to control, and get your (perceived) needs met through, another) is a misperception that something external to you must change before you can feel a particular way, or do a particular thing, instead of owning your own power and operating / choosing / speaking from there.

This counterfeit method of getting what you think you want will not get you what you actually want (not even close… or even possible from that place), even if the other person chooses to put you before themselves and surrenders to this energetic manipulation.

What you seek and are reaching for is inside of you.

It has nothing to do with another.

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Clean Love (An Essay)

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doing something

anything

for or with a person

because you feel guilty or pressured

because you feel bad / sorry / pity for them

because you (mis)perceive they need saving

because you believe it’s your job to ‘help’ them

because you can’t withstand their pain

because ‘it’s just what you do when…’

is not pure

it’s not love

it’s an ulterior motive to ‘get’ something from the experience (validation / purpose / worthiness / love / security etc) and to alleviate the tension inside of you

for your own comfort; not theirs

but when you do something

anything

for or with a person

because it is what you truly want to do

knowing that no one needs saving

knowing that you’re not here to ‘help’ through contrived, measured, self-serving, pat-on-the-back receiving, recordable / postable actions and mindless obedience to the status quo…

but through the raw truth of your being and your devotion to the pulse of YOU (and nothing is more ‘helpful’ than that)

knowing that another person’s pain is not bigger than you

or them

and that it’s not a problem to be fixed

at all

knowing that what you do or don’t do in any given moment is perfect

despite appearances

regardless of convention

no matter how another perceives it

simply because it’s what’s true right now…

then it is clean

then it is love

because it doesn’t require you or another to abandon / shrink / dilute / change / over-extend a thing for the ‘other’,

or to maintain the delusion that such a thing is required to show love or to be loved in the first place

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The Richest Woman in the World (An Essay)

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I consider myself one of the richest women in the world.

And it has nothing to do with money.

True wealth is who you are.

It is the ability to experience yourself and this moment, deeply and fully.

It is to never turn away from that potency of YOU, thereby diminishing it and all the beauty that comes from it.

When you are YOU - that magical, mystical beast of pure power - it all just shows up.

Everything you need, whenever you need it.

And even more than that.

I live a lush, vibrant, opulent life.

The number in my bank account has never played a role in this.

It has never been the source of my pleasure, my joy, my freedom, my fun.

I am the source of everything I experience.

My freedom and pleasure comes from within and is never dependent on another, let alone a number in the world of make believe (money is fun but it’s a social construct just the same).

I draw delicious things to me endlessly.

Experiences I couldn’t even conjur up if I tried.

Things I never had to ‘try’ to get, to ‘manifest’, to orchestrate.

I am simply myself, in my fullness, and life organizes itself around me.

It always has, regardless of my circumstance.

This is why I have never required a lot of money to live comfortably and beautifully.

I always had what money can’t buy.

I always had that which was worth even more.

I still live better than most people I know.

Because I measure the quality and ‘success’ of my life based on my enjoyment of it, and my ability to flow with it, regardless of what happens.

I am at peace.

I am free of suffering.

I have deep, loving relationships.

I laugh and sing and dance so much.

I am relatively free of inner and outer clutter.

I spend my days as I wish.

I do what I love.

I express myself in any way I desire.

I trust myself completely.

I have it all.

Nothing is ever missing.

I’m overflowing at every turn.

I dance with each moment and I only get closer and closer to ME.

And the closer I am to who I am, the richer my life becomes.

Because that’s how it’s supposed to be.

You’re here to enjoy yourself, your life, and to play the day away - free of stress and worry and unnecessary pain.

That decadent life begins with you and only you.

And maybe a call with me.

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