Wee
The experience shows you where you’re deficient.
Not as a person.
But in power.
In self-ownership.
Because that experience ‘had the power’ to move you.
Proof you still have work to do.
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I had an awakening that shattered more of me.
As truth must do.
As it should.
The me that doesn’t ultimately exist.
How else could it have shattered?
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Peep Mandy Bites on Truth
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You can’t override where you are.
You can’t jump to a place you’ve yet to earn your spot in and simply play pretend.
Well, you can try.
But that lack of integrity is palpable.
That overreaching and energetic incongruence is felt.
And,
it’s completely unnecessary.
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If most coaches kept it real:
“I’ll take you to a place I haven’t even dared to go myself, and I’ll use a bunch of words and embellishments and contrived positioning to convince you that I’ve got whatchu need, and you’ll totally buy it because you can’t yet discern between what I’m saying and how I’m actually living / being, which is precisely why you’re captivated by my bullshit in the first place. Thank you for your payment.”
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When you’ve deviated from the truth and natural movements of your being (a complete betrayal to your system), the only way to live with that internal split is to distract yourself with self-created 'issues’ that would not exist (and ultimately don't) had you remained in your power (your natural state) in the first place.
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“We haven’t reached our final form.”
And I agreed with him.
But we’ve reached a million ephemeral places.
And I’ve never felt more loved.
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You don’t do it because of that thing.
But that thing is there precisely because you aren’t doing it.
Do it despite that thing and that thing just disappears.
Don’t do it because of that thing and that thing stays right in place.
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You really can’t override living in a NO.
You either stop doing that or you suffer.
There’s no sorting it out and making it right from within the cage of self-betrayal.
Because the ‘issue’ IS the self-betrayal;
not the actual NO itself.
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I’ll leave myself to meet you there.
You’ll do the same for me.
vs
I’ll stay right here.
You’ll stay right there.
We’ll dance in the in-between.
Or not.
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It is the inability to withstand the intense aliveness of being that drives the impulse to dilute or run from it, just as the inability to withstand it drives the impulse to seek that same jolt of aliveness through superficial means.
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Last night I dreamed I won billions in a lottery.
And it didn’t feel any different than how my life feels with him in it.
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I don’t need the sex to get better every time.
I need our SEX to be true every time.
Which makes all the things,
including the sex,
the very best
every time.
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He reminds me of a Leonard Cohen quote.
“You go your way. I’ll go your way, too.”
He moves with me seamlessly.
Effortlessly.
With nothing in-between.
A dance so quiet, so tender, so natural, so close.
So light.
So pure.
So empty.
So free.
Little is spoken.
Yet everything is said.
“Mine.”
“Yours.”
Here we are.
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You do it from the ground up.
From the inside out.
Not from the top down.
From the outside in.
You get to the zero point.
The purest point.
And create the MORE from there.
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It’s the empty vessel I’m after.
Limitless.
Bottomless.
Free of all constraints.
Willing to destroy himself,
so he can meet me here.
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We were on the phone for three hours last night.
Half of which was spent in silence.
All of which was spent in heaven.
“This is the purest thing I’ve ever felt.”
I told him I felt the same.
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The foundation must be a stand alone work of art.
Made of the rawest materials to fashion each piece.
What you add after that is irrelevant.
Every drop will be sourced from truth.
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Physical sex on its own doesn’t do it for those who constantly make love with life from the depth of their being.
They require and have the capacity to experience the truth and edge of SEX at all times,
in all ways,
beyond the physical.
Even when it includes the physical.
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You think it’s the money you want.
But it’s not.
You want the experience of completely trusting your innate power and ability to create anything from nothing (including the money).
Regardless of circumstance.
Regardless of another.
Because you know without a shadow of a doubt that everything in your life (including money) is completely sourced from you.
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You don’t actually want to be saved.
You want to be the Master of yourself
and the domain that’s housed by YOU.
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