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Touché, Bitch (An Essay)

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Talking with a friend in a relationship that’s been the biggest NO forfuckingever…

Her: “But I love his family.”

Me: “More than you love yourself?”

Her: “Touché, bitch.”

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P.S. If you’ve never referred to me as ‘bitch’ (not ‘a bitch’ — although that would still be a compliment), do you even love me?

And if I haven’t called you ‘bitch’ while hyped up in a private convo / message / work call, either celebrating you or calling you out, do I even love you?

Of course.

But it’s still fun to ponder.

Obliteration Dance (An Essay)

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I chose him precisely because of the density.

The grit.

For the perceived dysfunction that would highlight my own so I could erect what had long been limp.

I used him to purify myself.

To be stripped even further.

To stay until nothing was left.

From the outside, it looked insane.

And to my human, it felt like hell.

But obliteration was what I was after.

Why else would I have danced right there?

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Raw-Dogging Life (An Essay)

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Others can point to IT.

Be a demonstration of IT (at best).

But the IT you seek comes from one thing only:

daring to be present enough in your own experience (no matter what it contains) to do the actual work of facing, feeling and seeing right through whatever shit is in the way of your heaven.

Raw-dogging life.

No buffer.

It’s as simple and as hard as that.

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The Unwritten Tagline (An Essay)

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If most coaches kept it real:

“I’ll take you to a place I haven’t even dared to go myself, and I’ll use a bunch of words and embellishments and contrived positioning to convince you that I’ve got whatchu need, and you’ll totally buy it because you can’t yet discern between what I’m saying and how I’m actually living / being, which is precisely why you’re captivated by my bullshit in the first place. Thank you for your payment.”

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Deviating From What's Natural (An Essay)

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When you’ve deviated from the truth and natural movements of your being (a complete betrayal to your system), the only way to live with that internal split is to distract yourself with self-created 'issues’ that would not exist (and ultimately don't) had you remained in your power (your natural state) in the first place.

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The Helliest Hell There Is (An Essay)

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Living inside a NO is one of the helliest hells there is.

It’s a complete mindfuck.

It ensures you’ll continually be, and quite unsuccessfully, managing the content of the experience that you (often regrettably) said yes to, instead of enjoying the magic that’s delivered on the other side of each very exacting and undeniably brilliant NO.

It ensures that the experience you weren’t ever meant to be part of in the first place (cuz your NO fucking told you so), gets messier, uglier, louder and even more distorted and impossible to ‘resolve’, the longer you stay beyond said NO.

And until you recognize and own your original transgression (as well as each subsequent one), you’ll mistakenly point to the other (and what they are or aren’t being or doing), or to the situation itself (and all the ways it fucking blows) for why you’re so unhappy in the experience that YOU said yes to while knowing it was a NO.

You might even feel and begin to act like a victim of circumstance, and you can undoubtedly rally others to support this false narrative, but you knew from the start and you still chose to go so where is the victim in that?

It’s just easier to defer your power and call it by another name than to own it and tell it like it is.

It’s easier to blame your past for what you’re choosing and experiencing in the present than to do what needs to be done.

It’s easier to say yes ‘for’ or ‘because of’ this or that, rather than to honour that exquisite NO and take the imagined risk that such a bold move brings, without knowing why this just isn’t IT.

But you’ll learn soon enough.

You’ll inevitably discover firsthand why your system warned you against what you’re now in the midst of enduring, and are currently, often repeatedly, trying to extract yourself from.

And it’s perfect.

It was unavoidable.

And it’s all by your own design.

Because if you were seasoned enough to not do that wonky thing you do (ignoring what you know), you wouldn’t create these experiences for yourself to learn how not to get to the point where you’re at right now.

So you can’t lose regardless of how lost you feel or what you perceive you’ve lost through each ordeal, because each one effectively shows you where you veered off, and one day you just won’t.

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We're All Fucked Up (An Essay)

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We’re all fucked up.

Who cares?

The human condition(ing) makes it so.

And…

We’re all perfectly intact despite the fuckedupness.

It’s both.

Human + being.

And I don’t know one human who actually has all their shit together (whatever that means).

Not one.

But I know that every being exists perfectly and beautifully beyond the human shit.

And that every human touches and experiences even more of their brilliant being, both through and because of it.

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Everyone is The One (An Essay)

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The idea that there’s a ‘right’ one implies there could ever be a ‘wrong’ one.

But that’s impossible.

Every being you’re dancing with is the ‘right’ one.

The most accurate and divinely prescribed one.

For precisely where you are.

Just like every moment of life.

The current moment / relationship / circumstance / configuration and all that it’s comprised of, contains exactly what’s required of / for you to clear each board as the next board takes its place.

The players may change but this truth remains the same in the customized game created solely by you.

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