Triggered

Rise Up (An Essay)

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When you look to another to give you something you’re refusing to give yourself,

what they offer will never hit the spot.

It’s yours to cultivate.

Not theirs to give.

And in your frustration of not getting what you think you want and need from someone else,

you point to them for not rising up adequately.

But it was you who did not rise up.

Hence your search for someone who would.

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Thrown Off My Game (An Essay)

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if it didn’t destroy me

if parts of me weren’t forced to die

repeatedly

and quite potently

through the is-ness of he and i

there’d be no pull for me to stay

- not with him -

but with all that arises

through the mutual destruction that our interactions bring

this alone is what interests me

because i’m interested in what disturbs me

and i’m interested in the art of becoming less disturbed

by what throws me off my game

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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Not Enough Money In The World (An Essay)

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If someone is stuck on their bullshit, I swerve.

I want nothing to do with it.

They can figure that out on their own time.

Not mine.

You couldn’t pay me enough to deal with someone who is not ready to let go of their shit.

Because there’s nothing there for me.

And I could care less if they’re ever ready.

I am absolutely not invested in someone else’s freedom.

At all.

They have to want that for themselves enough to do what needs to be done.

Which means letting go of their crutches and excuses and actually standing on their own.

At that point, we play.

Until then, I’m gone.

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Doing The Blessed Thing (An Essay)

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you would never…

have to talk about your relationship

have issues in your relationship

have to work on your relationship

#workingonitneverworks

if you were both in complete integrity

and fully in your power already

you’d just be in your relationship

doing the blessed thing

the most natural thing in the world

‘problems’ only arise because you haven’t been speaking / living / being truth

you haven’t been taking full responsibility for your side of the court

you have been looking to, and waiting on, the other for something that’s absolutely not theirs to give

and that accumulation of bullshit creates problems

as it should

not because ‘all couples have problems’

but because ‘all people who aren’t living in integrity and look outside of themselves for something / anything - have problems’

(Peep this Mandy Bite)

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The Powerless Departure (An Essay)

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Over the past few months, I’ve had some very close to me humans attempt to ‘end’ our relationship.

(‘Attempt’ because there’s no such thing as an ending)

Because they couldn’t figure out how to use me and our experience to erect themselves further.

So they collapsed (in Sanna speak) right out of my world (once again / for now / forever / who cares).

Except they didn’t actually leave.

And they didn’t achieve a thing.

Because there was zero power in their so-called ‘departure’.

They ‘left’ instead of saying or doing (and being) the truest thing,

the rawest thing,

that would shatter everything,

in themselves and in me.

Because that would require them to stand firm and fully in who they are.

But they were not ready.

So they ‘left’.

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