I don’t need the sex to get better every time.
I need our SEX to be true every time.
Which makes all the things,
including the sex,
the very best
every time.
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Most Popular
Will You Get The Thing Or Not? (An Essay)
It’s not true that once you clear the matter, you automatically get the thing.
You clear the matter and see that it was never about the thing in the first place.
You clear the matter and know you’ll be good with or without this thing (or any other thing you misperceive you need / ‘deserve’ / are entitled to) because there’s no longer any weight attached to it.
And…
Sure you might get the thing.
In spades.
Or something else entirely.
Beyond what you could have imagined.
But only IF / when / how it’s true for your being.
Something you can’t control.
Ultimately, you’re always getting exactly what’s true for you anyways.
Like clockwork every step of the way.
Regardless AND because of the matter.
Which means that matter can’t stop you from getting what’s yours
because you’re never not getting precisely that.
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A Lack of Empathy Points To This (An Essay)
When someone complains about my lack of empathy, all I hear is:
“I’m not yet willing to take full responsibility for my energetic state so I’m looking to you to fill in this uncomfortable gap between who I misperceive myself to be and the power I’ve yet to claim.”
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Sex vs SEX (An Essay)
in the middle of the night
he and i had a lovely conversation about sex
and not surprisingly
based on how we met and how things are unfolding
we share a similar view on play
sex (penetration) for the sake of sex
hits no true spot
but the experience of SEX
that has no beginning, no middle, no end
that may or may not include penetration
that may or may not include touch or a release
that is not marked separate from a ‘non-sex’ event
(because it’s alllll SEX, baby)
that is where the magic is
that is what arouses more than a particular position or body type
than a pre-determined set of preferences
than a vibe of ‘this worked on her last time so i’ll just do that again’
because SEX is a dance in the NOW
so you can’t bring a (past) thing with you
nor can you aim for something else
you must make each move from exactly where you are
without leaving where it’s fresh and alive and new
without ever leaving YOU
because true SEX is beyond the physical
the body is just the vessel through which you play
endlessly
truthfully
fluidly
to more
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Aim Directly And You'll Miss (An Essay)
it’s not about going after the money or the person or any thing directly
there’s no real power in an outsourced move
because when you focus on the moveable
the changeable
the malleable (illusory) thing
it prevents you from doing the only thing
that has the power to move ALL things
(keeping the focus on YOU, with each and every move)
but when you make your move
because it’s true
regardless of the money or the other
you ‘get’ who and what is made for you
you always get what’s true
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You're Not Doing The Damn Thing (An Essay)
Announcing that you’re going to do it isn’t doing it.
Holding off until an unspecified ‘future’ point in time to do it isn’t doing it.
Inching closer isn’t doing it.
Doing it only under a pre-determined (safe) set of conditions (aka plopping it into a cute little container where you feel protected and the true edge can be minimized, softened or skipped altogether) isn’t doing it.
That’s avoidance.
It’s testing the waters because you’re still afraid to jump without something in place to cushion the fall which prevents the actual free fall that your being truly craves.
It’s the perfect delay tactic.
Making sure that the time is still not now to do the thing you know is true as you do the exact same thing you’ve been doing all along.
Staying safe and calling it by another name.
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Clearing Every Board (An Essay)
there is a zero point
in every moment
in every situation
in every person
in every thing
and when you reach that still point
the cleanest point there is
it clears every board you’re playing
without you touching a thing
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You're Asking The Wrong Question (An Essay)
in Energetics, Money, The NO, Most Popular, Health, Makin Moves, Mentoring, Addiction, Human Dynamics, Zero Point, Pain, Essays, Convos
It's not: "How do I get the clients / make the money / overcome the addiction / heal the pain / resolve this health and / or relationship 'issue'?"
It's: "When will I stop saying YES to a NO? When will I stop supressing what's true? When will I make being the living truth my full-time job regardless of who or what is in front of me?"
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The NO vs The Edge (An Essay)
in Energetics, The NO, Most Popular, Makin Moves, Essays, Linked
When there is a big, fat NO in my system that I didn’t catch right away, I feel sick in my throat.
It feels like dread.
It feels heavy and icky in my gut.
Things feel serious, tight, restricted.
And that dense feeling eclipses everything else until I figure out where the NO must be applied and how.
It doesn’t matter that I missed / ignored it the first time or how long I kept missing / ignoring my NO.
It doesn’t even matter who or what or why.
There’s a NO in my brilliant system and to keep saying YES to it would be a lie.
That sick feeling is proof that I missed / ignored it and kept missing / ignoring it or else it couldn’t have gotten to the point of full blown dread.
Who cares.
New moment.
New move.
Let’s rock.
When there is an edge in my system, I also feel sick.
Nauseous.
Hella nervous.
Like I’m at the top of a rollercoaster about to go down.
But there is no heaviness.
No dread.
No lump in my throat at all.
Nothing feels icky.
It feels exhilarating.
Fascinating.
Fun and light and limitless.
Yummy and also terrifying.
It’s not knowing what the fuck is gonna happen but being so willing to take this wild ride just because it’s true, and to let my fear stop me would be a lie.
And so…
A true NO is telling me to stop.
A true edge is telling me to go.
That’s how I tell the difference.
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Why You Don't Get All The Things (An Essay)
You don’t get ALL THE THINGS just because you’re ‘doing the work’.
You get ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE TRUE FOR YOUR BEING EVERY FUCKING STEP OF THE WAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE regardless of the work.
Which is what you’ve been getting since the moment you were born.
So ‘doing the work’ doesn’t change the fact that you’re always exactly where you need to be in whatever circumstance you find yourself in that’s undoubtedly refining you beautifully.
Doing the work just ‘removes’ the illusory shit in the way of you seeing how fucking perfect it all is regardless of how it appears or what does or doesn’t happen because let’s face it, shit is always happening.
That’s life.
What is or isn’t happening is never the problem.
How we misperceive it, is.
Someone in a relationship isn’t more advanced / on track than someone not in one, and vice versa.
Someone with a fuckton of cash isn’t more advanced / on track than someone with nada, and vice versa.
Someone with a specific health condition isn’t less advanced / less on track than someone without one, and vice versa.
You can’t use external metrics to measure the quality of one’s inner experience or the precision of one’s energetic game because the work has nothing to do with the external even though it can impact it.
Things most definitely move more seamlessly when you’re actively doing the work simply because you’re not repeatedly jamming your own circuits with your own bullshit / clutter / mispercepetions / expectations.
And if you’re attached to what your ‘been doing all the work’ life should look like (the man, the fat account, 20 pounds lighter, whatever the fuck), you’re still not hitting the right spot because you’re aiming for something ‘out there’ to validate what you’re doing ‘in here’ instead of staying right here where the magic really happens (which has nothing to do with what does or doesn’t happen externally).
Doing the work (seeing through the matter) results in being okay no matter what happens and no matter what it ends up looking like, and trusting (well it’s even beyond trust - you just KNOW) that your being knows far better than you what the hottest concoction is for you every step of the way (if you’d just get outta the damn way and do exactly what you know you need to do because you’re being told how to move in every fucking moment).
And it’s not that you won’t ‘get’ the cash or the man or the body whatever else it is you think you want.
It’s that you inevitably get to a place where you’re so fucking juiced even without it, that you’re not even feeling like a damn thing is missing (because nothing ever is), and you know that what’s truly for you is both inevitable and ever-present, and you know it’s the experience you’re after; not the thing itself,
as the unimaginable licks you from head to toe
in ways you never even dreamed of.
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Through The Eye Of Your Own Needle (An Essay)
When you’re able to go through the eye of your own needle,
that very narrow space where nothing but you exists,
because you’ve remained so. fucking. close to the absolute truth of your being,
thereby becoming so energetically ‘tight’ that you fit through that very narrow space where nothing but you can move through in the first place…
what’s there for you on the other side,
is the greatest ride of your life.
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It's Every Hottie For Themselves (An Essay)
In the land of energetics,
it’s every hottie for themselves.
You can’t leave your post for anything.
For anyone.
Not even for a moment.
And that, in a nutshell,
is the deepest work,
the highest calling,
the purest love there is.
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You Don't Need Closure (An Essay)
When you let a situation ‘bleed out’ (come to its natural and inevitable conclusion), you choose not to touch it because it doesn’t require an intervention.
It’s not avoidance.
It’s knowing through discernment.
It’s staying where it’s true.
Not remaining where it’s flat.
And…
It’s not true that you need ‘closure’.
To wrap things up.
To contrive an end point, just so you can say it’s done.
It’s done the moment it flatlines.
Anything beyond that is just more of that.
No need to state the obvious.
Or bring it back to life.
Just stay where it’s most alive,
as everything dead falls away.
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Stop Blaming A Lack of Money (An Essay)
Lack of money isn’t the reason you aren’t living your fullest and truest life.
You are the reason you aren’t living your fullest and truest life.
And lack of money is a by-product of that self-denial.
And…
It’s not about the money.
You can have nothing in your account and still make your truest move right now.
But you use lack of money as your excuse not to do that.
It’s an easy ‘out’ from riding the edge of life and of yourself.
The perfect excuse to keep saying NO to you.
And how freaking handy to blame your self-created, restricted inner experience on that clearly-more-powerful-than-you money.
That completely-outside-of-you money.
But here’s what’s true:
That ‘restriction’ you experience financially is simply the energetic restriction you’re living in constantly, projected onto, and out-pictured through, money.
Your system is jammed.
And so are your finances.
Because money doesn’t move before you do.
It’s already there.
Where are you?
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Three Trillion Layers Deep (An Essay)
if someone has travelled three layers deep
and you have travelled three trillion on route to a bazillion
you’re swimming in a vastness they’ve yet to taste
but can sense
in you
and in themselves
this will terrify and / or intrigue them
or feel so far from where they are that they insist it doesn’t exist
(because they don’t yet have the eyes to see what’s invisible to the eye)
they’d rather stick to what is seen and known
(like most do)
and so…
at three layers deep
with three trillion more layers beneath
and a bazillion more layers to go
they’re content with those three layers
believing that what they see is all there is
so for them, nothing feels like it’s missing
even though much has yet to be explored
they simply aren’t yet pulled to touch
the underworld of themselves
and who can blame them, really?
those depths aren’t for the masses
they’re for those
who can’t survive
let alone thrive
unless / until they freefall
into the darkness
into the abyss
into the stillness
where nothing exists
and when one comes across another
three trillion layers deep
there’s a mutual
and oh so beautiful
recognition of what it took
to arrive at those depths
where most won’t dare to swim
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The Truth About Money (An Essay)
money
when experienced from a pure channel
has no meaning
no value
no substance
no weight
you don’t ‘earn it’ (and you do)
you don’t work for it (and you do)
it’s not an A = B equation
“If I do this, I’ll get that” (nope)
you don’t ‘deserve’ it
you’re not ‘worthy’ of it
and if you try to make it, you can’t
but most don’t play through a pure channel
they overwork in a heavily distorted one
where money really matters
it really means something
about them
about their work
about their / its supposed value or worth
so they’ll do whatever they can to make it
and for many, of course it works
because you can make all sorts of money
in all sorts of ways
from a distorted, matter-filled channel
but from a pure one
that rarest one
your options are reduced to one
there’s only one way to ‘make’ it
you can’t affirm your way there
or externally work your way there
or visualize or pray or trade your way there
you can only be there
at the zero point
where all that remains
is truth
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How To Stop Shit From Happening (An Essay)
If you react (energetically move / collapse) when something in the physical doesn’t work out how you want or expect it to,
that’s your work.
To learn how not to do that.
And until you can stay still regardless of what’s happening or not happening,
shit will keep happening or not happening so you can figure that shit out.
And once you’re able to stay still regardless of what’s happening or not happening,
shit will still happen or not happen.
It just won’t affect how you feel or how you move.
And that’s how the game is won.
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You Don't Have Issues (An Essay)
You don’t have a money issue.
A health issue.
A relationship issue.
Any issue at all.
You have whatever is brought to the surface through whatever meaning you’ve projected onto whatever is happening or not happening with your account, your health, your relationships, your whatever.
Not an issue.
An invitation.
It’s not about having or not having a certain amount of money.
It’s not about having or not having a certain measure of health.
It’s not about having or not having the relationship(s) of your supposed dreams.
It’s about facing and transmuting every bit of constriction / density / matter / illusion that shows up as you navigate every single facet of life - including your finances, your health, your relationships and all the rest.
It’s not about the category.
It’s about the congestion.
And the area in which you feel the most congested / restricted / powerless, is where you think there’s an issue (naturally), but ultimately it’s just the spot that’s the ripest to fuck with (look at, challenge, and ultimately see through).
It’s your own self-generated playground to unclog, free up, and own your damn power already.
So let go of the concept of there being an issue.
There’s no such thing.
There’s just energy moving freely or temporarily getting jammed up.
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Victim + Saviour Bullshit (An Essay)
The impulse to ‘save’ someone from their own suffering by ‘helping’, ‘fixing’, ‘holding space’ or filling in the gap - actually affirms and prolongs it.
When you see yourself and others as you and they truly are - innately sovereign, self-governing and free - you wouldn’t dream of interrupting and slowing down the necessary burning that’s unfolding as a result of what they (as innately sovereign, self-governing, free beings) have created for themselves.
But that is precisely what you do when you say or do something from the misperception of ‘poor them’, and buy into the delusion that you have what they need or possess something they don’t.
This is also why you, at your very core, don’t want to be ‘saved’ (impossible anyways) when you’re in the shit.
What you actually want is to be the Master of yourself and the domain that’s housed by you.
And you can’t experience that if you still believe in victims and saviours.
There are none.
There is just you and what you choose to do or not do in this and every moment with each and every person as the innately sovereign, self-governing and free being that you are.
Dropping saviour mode is not about being a heartless jerk as you watch another suffer.
It’s about seeing them clearly (powerful as fuck) and seeing what’s happening clearly (illusion running the show) and only doing what you genuinely feel pulled to do from that clean / clear spot of knowing; not from an illusory victim / saviour stance.
Because the only reason you’d ever jump into saviour mode in the first place is because you actually believe in victims and you’re arrogant and delusional enough to believe that you can actually save them.
#isaidwhatisaid
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The Anomaly (An Essay)
In complete stillness, what surrounds you is a vortex that spits out almost everything and everyone.
Matter is destroyed on contact.
Making it nearly impossible for anyone to make it through the tunnel unscathed, if at all.
The level of purity (lack of density) required for another to reach that still point of you, is immense.
And incredibly rare.
Making it that much more potent and extraordinary when an anomaly enters the scene.
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